Is it normal to have this much extra skin down there?

[mikki]

I have like crazy extra skin at the tip, its like twice the size of my dih is it normal or will i grow into it? It looks so weird im scared if my gf sees it she will freak out

[Heather]

Hi there, mikki. Can you tell me, are you circumcised or uncircumcised? I'm asking because that will help me sort out what you might be referring to here.

[mikki]

Hi Heather thanks for helping out! Im pretty sure im not circumcised

[Heather]

Of course. And okay: so chances are pretty good that that extra skin is your foreskin. Does it seem to pull away, or is there less of it, when your penis is erect?

[mikki]

When im hard theres still a lot of it? Like at least 2 inches of extra

[Heather]

Okay.

So, there's a term for what this probably is, which is "redundant prepuce," which just basically describes an extra-long foreskin. Ideally, because foreskins are something everyone is born with, and this is one variation, this shouldn't be something any sexual partner is freaking out about, just like you ideally wouldn't freak out about a partner whose inner labia are longer than other folks are, you know?

Generally, this isn't something that has to be a problem, but for some people it can cause health issues, most often, that's something like an inclination towards infections or adhesions in part because it can be harder to keep clean then when there is less foreskin. It also is something that can make some folks feel self-conscious, even though again, much like longer labia, or bigger lips on our face, it's just one variation of this anatomy.

Given your age, how much extra there is may indeed change, because most folks penises at 14 have not finished growing: it may be that over the next few years this looks different than it does now.

We can talk some about your girlfriend if you like: ideally, if someone is actually ready to be involved with someone else's genitals, they have the maturity to be cool with all the possible variations of that anatomy. A lot of people at 14 aren't quite there yet, on top of also often just not feeling ready for genital sex with a partner, period. Being ready for that kind of sex involves a lot of things, including being ready to start getting sexual healthcare, sexually communicating with a partner, managing safer sex and contraception, etc. Are you and your girlfriend t the point where you are having any kind of sex or where you think that might be something you both want to start exploring soon?

[mikki]

Oh thats scary i didnt know having too much skin could cause health issues! I think im super self conscious about it. Idt i feel ready to do any sexual stuff w my gf, but we've been curious about each other and im kinda terrified of showing her how mine looks? I mean even when i go pee i make sure i use the cubicles so my friends wont see it.

[Heather]

I'm so sorry to hear that you feel that way about any part of your body: I promise, it's not something you should feel terrified about anyone seeing, it's just one way an uncircumcised penis can look.

But I will say this: if we don't feel safe or secure yet showing a potential partner our body or its parts, that's usually a pretty clear signal we don't feel ready for sex yet, because feeling safe and secure like that -- even if we're still a little nervous, because someone new seeing our body can almost always be a little nervewracking -- is part of feeling ready. It sounds like it might make more sense for you two to take some more time to build trust, and maybe even talk some about how you both do feel about showing each other your bodies before taking that step? We can tell partners if we feel insecure about things and also ask them for what we need around that, things like assurances from them that they do feel like they have the maturity to be a safe person for us emotionally when it comes to our bodies, for example.

Too, talking about this stuff can also tend to tell us a lot about if we or a partner -- or our relationship -- are ready for this stuff. If and when one or both people can't even manage to talk about bodies or sex in honest ways, it's something else that can show us if any of us aren't actually ready or if the relationship just isn't right to become sexual, or right yet.

[mikki]

Yeah, idt we're comfortable with doing anything yet, ig im just stressed about how it looks in general? Like even if i wasnt with anyone. Ik you said its just the way it is but ig its hard to get over being weirded out by it bc it looks so different from anyone elses ive seen. Do you think i need to see a doctor about any health issues btw?

[Heather]

If you're not having any health issues -- that would look like issues with infections despite doing what you can you keep it clean inside/under your foreskin, or any kind of pain or discomfort, including with masturbation -- then no, you don't need to see a doctor. If you are, then yes, checking in would be a good idea. You also have the option to see a doctor about it if you just want to know what a healthcare provider would say and what your options are with it, either now or in the future, when you're older. Sometimes when we're feeling super-self-conscious about physical variations, a visit with a healthcare provider can be a comfort, because then we can hear from someone who is very familiar with seeing physical variations and can help normalize things for us.

I'll also say that it's common for it to just take some time over life to get comfortable with any parts of our bodies we aren't comfortable with. It's pretty typical for people around your age to feel self-conscious about their bodies, especially parts like genitals or breasts, no matter what they look like, honestly, so this could be something that you just find you feel better about just by giving yourself a few years to become more generally comfortable with your body. <3

[mikki]

Oh idt iv ever gotten an infection? Jerking off doesnt hurt for me either but idk if iv seen inside the skin either tho, isnt that only for cut guys? Hopefully i grow into the extra skin or somehow find a way to be ok w it, honestly even if im ok w the way it looks its so annoying the way it is, my mum is always mad at me bc it goes everywhere when i pee, i wish there were ways to make the skin shrink or smth sorry if im ranting atp

[Heather]

Per the inside, as it were, are you pulling all of the foreskin back in order to clean user it? That's what I'm talking about when I'm talking about the inside.

Per peeing, you know, not everyone with a penis -- cut or uncut -- stands to pee, plenty of guys sit down, very much including because it makes less of a mess. You could do that, or you could also just try and be more mindful of any mess you leave after you pee and clean it up yourself so that your mom doesn't have to. If cleaning a bathroom you use isn't one of your own chores, you could also raise your hand for that: hopefully your Mom isn't the only person in the household doing the cleanign up!

It's okay to feel however you feel about your body and its parts, and it's okay to voice those feelings here. Voicing our feelings often helps us with them. But again, if you wanted to talk to a doctor about your options with this, it really is okay, to do that. It sounds like you might feel better knowing what they are?

[mikki]

Uhh im not super sure what pulling back is, ig ive never done that before? Sorry sometimes my visualization sucks. Yeah i gave up sit to pee at home rn but ig i wish i didnt have to lol, i mean girls sit but they dont have smth in between that will touch the seat or go into the water if im not careful and thats kinda gross and annoying

[Heather]

I get it, it takes some doing to make it work. Again, though, sounds like at least at home, your mother's (valid) issue is that there's urine outside the toilet, so it's honestly just good form to clean up whenever that happens, be it in your home or someone else's.

In terms of pulling the foreskin back, that's an important part of hygiene when you have a foreskin. Ideally, it's something parents show you how to do when you're small, but that is also something lots of people never had anyone show them.
The good news is, a doctor can show you, or you can just check out a video on how to do it, of which there are plenty.

Here are a couple that should work for you:
• https://www.instagram.com/reels/DQKDWE5EuOK/
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Nr5YG-iyj0 (around 2:27)
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Nr5YG-iyj0

This explanation might also help: https://bettertoknow-yukon.ca/body/self-care/penis

And now or later, this article here might be helpful for you in general! https://www.scarleteen.com/read/bodies/ ... ifications

[mikki]

Oh wow yeah ive never pulled the skin back before, idk why im so dumb and thought it was only for cut guys. Ig i never actually cleaned it before, is it bad?

[Heather]

It's really important to clean your penis, including the foreskin.

You not knowing you needed to doesn't make you unintelligent: that's on the folks who raised you not showing you how to take care of yourself, or, if they didn't know about basic care of an uncircumcised penis, on your pediatrician when you were a baby for not showing them.

So, by all means, if pulling back your foreskin gently to clean your penis properly isn't something (btw, people without a foreskin can't pull it back when cleaning because it isn't there to pull back anymore) you haven't done until now, it's good that you found out you need to and today would be the day to start doing that.

[mikki]

Mhm up till now I only cleaned the outside of it, no one told me i had to clean under the skin somehow i just tried pulling it back but couldnt, is it supposed to hurt a lot? How do other guys do it?

[Heather]

It should not hurt, it should be something you can do gently -- and slowly, you don't just want to tug it roughly -- without pain. If it hurts, then you'll need to make an appointment with a doctor so they can look into why it's hurting you. It could be that because of never cleaning it properly, you developed some smegma buildup or adhesions: that can happen. But if it did, a doctor can help with that, and it's not usually surgical.

[mikki]

Oh no that sounds scary, i feel like its bc the last part of the skin near the pee hole is too narrow for my d to fit through? I dont feel like its stuck to anything, maybe if i keep trying it will stretch out? I have a school checkup in a few weeks, maybe i could ask the doc then?

[Heather]

I don't think you need to be scared.

If you feel comfortable with your doctor for your school checkup, by all means, that's someone you can ask about this, though they will likely refer you to a urologist.

In the meantime, I would not keep doing anything that causes you pain. It could be that the issue if that because you didn't pull it back, the opening narrowed -- a condition called phimosis, if you want to look it up -- and yes, it can be that gradual stretching will solve for that. But I'd not advise doing that without the guidance of a doctor given you have pain when you try, and too, often people doing this are given specific creams to help with that process so it's safer and less painful. Too, you will want to make sure that some of what is happening isn't that an infection developed inside the foreskin, something you'd want to treat before trying to move it around too much.

[mikki]

Damn phimosis sounds really please dont let it be that!! So until i get checked i shouldnt try to clean under the skin yet? I really hope its not super gross under there

[Heather]

I would just avoid doing anything that hurts. If it doesn't hurt, it should be fine, but if it does, then I'd stop and hold off until you can see the doctor.

[mikki]

Ok i'll do that. Is there any way i can clean it better without pulling the skin?

[lilikoi]

Hi mikki,

Without pulling the skin, you can use soap and water around the tip of your penis but it won't be able to clean it completely. To clean underneath the foreskin, you will need to gently move the foreskin back from the tip of the penis. You mentioned you tried pulling it back and felt some pain. Have you tried in the shower with warm water and soap?

[mikki]

I havent yet, but i always wash the outside with soap. Its the inside thats scary though, i think heather said long foreskins can trap a lot of dirt? I think mine is really long and iv never cleaned it properly