Being born into a religious family.

[SilverFalcon92]

Being born into a religious family really sucks because you can’t fully be honest with them about yourself. And for me, I’m starting to find myself and what I like when it comes to finding a partner and my sexuality. I’m starting to identify myself as they/them when I grew up with he/him all my life. I like to wear certain items and clothing too, and I know that telling my parents and even my family members about my sexuality and my pronouns will really cause a bunch of problems because they don’t support LGBTQ people and even my mom once’s told me that all gay people are going to hell. That’s why I haven’t told them about the stuff I mentioned, and I think I might wait until I move far away from them to tell them just to see their reaction, because at that point I’ll be in a better situation than I have been hearing that parents will kick their kids out and disown them simply because of what they find attractive which is so stupid to me. Another reason why it sucks being born into a religious family is because of my beliefs. I grew up as a Christian all my life. I even believed in the haven or hell thing growing up and being told that you can only date the opposite gender. Them having a strong dislike for gay people. If you were born a certain gender, you have to act and dress like that gender I can keep going on about that, but you get the point anyway nowadays in my 20s I shifted to agnostic because I don’t know which god is real and which ones aren’t, but now I was considering becoming atheist.

[KierC]

Hey SilverFalcon,

Thank you for opening up about this to us. I’m glad you can talk somewhere safe about this, because it sounds like your family is not accepting of many of the ideas we’ve discussed here. I’m so sorry to hear you’re currently living in a space where it isn’t really safe to talk with family about your identity.

I want to say first that you can still believe in god, a god, gods, etc. and be a part of the LGBTQIA+ community. There are religious communities and families who practice their faith in a manner that celebrates all identities. I’m sharing this to let you know that on your journey in discovering your identity, you don’t have to let go of your faith altogether. Here’s a great article we have that explains this in more depth: https://www.scarleteen.com/read/queer-d ... ung-person

Here’s another good example of queer life in religious spaces: https://queergrace.com/encyclopedia/

How does that idea land with you?

I agree with you that it’s a good idea to wait until you’re in a safe and accepting space to tell them about your identity, if you feel comfortable doing so. It’s also totally okay and healthy to only share this personal stuff with people you can trust to respect and accept it. If you don’t feel like they would, it’s okay not to tell them. How does hearing that make you feel?

[SilverFalcon92]

I think the reason why I’m more comfortable sharing this is because it’s more anonymous, which makes me more comfortable being open about this. There’s only very few people in real life that know about my sexuality and there’s no need to apologize for me being with homophobic parents. It’s kinda hard to accept that, and it’s whatever. I guess I would rather be honest with myself than to act differently just to please my parents and family. I do somewhat believe in god, but at the same time, I don’t, people say you can’t be LGBTQ and religious at the same time, apparently, and I’ll check out the article.

[KierC]

Hey

I’m really glad you feel safe sharing here. It’s really crummy when you’re living in a space where it’s not safe to express these really important parts of your identity to your loved ones. But I am glad you’ve found some safe people and a safe space here.

You certainly can be LGBTQ+ and religious! I’m queer and I identify as spiritual and agnostic, so while I’m not in an organized religion I do kinda believe in spirituality. I’ve also known many queer people who believe in god and practice religion, and many people who practice organized religion as allies of the LGBTQ+ community. That article Queer Grace is a great, great place to start with this!