Question About Solo Intimacy

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zoltan
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Question About Solo Intimacy

Unread post by zoltan »

Hello everyone,
I'm a 40 year-old man, and I want to ask if it’s normal to use a Fleshlight, especially since I’m not in a relationship. I only use it on weekends. During the week, I work from afternoon until late at night, and sex (or anything similar) would just make me tired.

I always clean the toy right after use with an antibacterial cleaner from the same brand, and then use the air dryer, also from the same brand, to make sure it’s properly dried. Is it considered okay to use a toy like this regularly if I take these hygiene precautions and limit its use to weekends? I honestly feel much better after using the toy, and I also sleep better at night, so it seems to have a positive impact on my health.

I've also read that using a toy isn't always recommended because it might make being with a real woman less comfortable. But if I don't relieve my sexual tension for a long time, like a month, sometimes I end up ejaculating in bed at night. This has happened to me even at an older age, and I don't think it's healthy to ignore it. Also, I don't think it's right to be with a woman just for sex, if I don't feel a real connection.
amber
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Re: Question About Solo Intimacy

Unread post by amber »

Hi zoltan!

Masturbating with a sex toy is nothing to worry about. Science shows us that, like you said, masturbation can have lots of positive health benefits (with or without toys involved).

We have a variety of content on our site about masturbation myths. This article here could be a place to start if you are interested -- Is Masturbation Okay? (Yep.).

Would you mind elaborating on sex feeling less comfortable? Physical sensations from sex shouldn't change just from masturbating. Exploration of your own pleasure could help increase pleasure in partnered sex because you know what it is your body likes!

Ejaculation while you are asleep is a normal bodily function regardless of age. It is the bodies way of cycling out the old for the new in terms of semen production.
zoltan
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Oct 26, 2025 1:15 pm
Age: 41
Awesomeness Quotient: Curiosity
Primary language: Hungarian, Romanian
Pronouns: He/Him
Sexual identity: Straight
Location: Arad, Romania

Re: Question About Solo Intimacy

Unread post by zoltan »

Thank you for your reply. I really appreciate your time.
What I meant was that I was concerned whether masturbation could have a negative impact in a future relationship. However, I think the material I read was referring to the use of pornography, which is not the case for me.
I do know that Fleshlights are molded after adult film actresses, but that's where it ends for me. I went with this brand simply because they're made in the US and were the only high-quality option available here in Romania, where I live. I just wanted to have something well-made, so I wouldn’t regret spending the money later on.
amber
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 101
Joined: Thu Jun 12, 2025 7:24 am
Age: 23
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/they
Sexual identity: bisexual
Location: maine

Re: Question About Solo Intimacy

Unread post by amber »

Of course!

Pornography use is a much more complicated topic which we could chat about if you like. Otherwise, It seems to me like you have a healthy relationship with masturbation.

If you are looking to chat about anything else let us know!
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