Some Questions about the hymen

[Autumn_leaves]

I’m so glad that I came across this website and it has cleared so many myths I used to believe. And even after reading these articles, I have a few questions which I’m still not sure about.

Some people say that the hymen can be flexible and inflexible. However, I’m confused about some people saying the hymen for some women can be torn by just touching it? Is this true and if so why?

Another question I have is why do so many gynecologists not recommend a hymenectomy instead of trying to stretch the hymen out which usually results in a rupture for so many women?

The last question I have is why do many people not believe when I say that bleeding happens because of the reasons mentioned on this website? I don’t want to spread misinformation. But my friends don’t believe me.

[mikky]

Hey, welcome! So happy to hear that the site has been helpful to you!

I bet you’ve already looked at this article, but if not, it’s a good one: My Corona: The Hymen & the Myths That Surround It.
As you’ll read there, while touching the hymen can wear it away, it isn’t a brittle membrane and won’t just crumble or break when touched.

I might be misunderstanding your second question, but I believe you’re asking why OBGYNs would opt not to do a hymenectomy in favor of letting the hymen/corona stretch and wear away over time naturally? This would be because a hymenectomy is really only needed when the hymen will not wear away on its own and is going to block menstrual flow and prevent any vaginal entry.


The myth that the hymen breaks and bleeds during your first time having sex is SO pervasive. It can be hard to recognize a myth like that when it’s so common and written into media and culture the way this one is. When we think about some of the reasons why people do bleed during intercourse: not enough lubrication, too much abrasion or roughness, lack of arousal, etc, we might notice those necessitate some action and care from all people involved. The cherry-popping-hymen-bursting myth excuses what should be sign to slow down and check in, as something that people with vaginas just need to privately deal with. There might be people in your friends lives who they fully trust (like an older sibling or parent) who unknowingly are providing misinformation. Offering your friends some links to back up your points might be helpful so they can read it for themselves

Seriously, enough with the fruit already.
And more with the popping of cherries.

[Autumn_leaves]

Hello. Thank you so much for the reply. You have answered all of my questions.

And yes, that is what I meant about the OBGYN question. But then why do some women’s hymens tear? Is it because they went rough? Or they never went to the OBGYN to check if they have a resilient hymen?

[char]

Hi Autumn_leaves,

If I understand correctly, are you asking why the hymen/corona can wear away on its own? If I am correct, I'd like to redirect you back to the articles Mikky has shared in their reply. In the advice column Seriously, enough with the fruit already, these are the reasons the hymen wears away:

For the most part, all people with vaginas are born with a hymen (also called the vagina corona⁠), even though the appearance of the hymen and the vulva⁠ can vary a whole lot, and it sits just behind the vaginal opening and, at birth, usually covers it. As a person with a vagina grows, the hymen slowly wears away. It contains small holes and perforations called hymenal orifices, and over time those openings expand more and more, due to vaginal discharges, hormones⁠, menstrual⁠ flow, general physical activity (one doesn’t have to be a soccer player), and yes, also due to any sort of vaginal sex, including masturbation⁠, if and when that occurs. Vaginal intercourse or manual sex⁠ with vaginal entry⁠ does tend to further that process, but not by popping anything. That tissue, being so thin, and being without nerve endings of its own, tends to be very flexible, so save when we are talking about forced intercourse or other sex, or genital injury, a penis⁠ or fingers will just wear it away more and more over time. Eventually, there will only be traces of it around the edges just inside the vaginal opening: sometimes those are easy to see or discern, sometimes they blend pretty seamlessly into the rest of the tissue of that area.

Here's another from an advice column called Why hasn't my cherry popped?:

A hymen is NOT located deep inside the vagina⁠ (where romance novels would often have us believe it is). Instead, it’s nothing more than a thin membrane across the opening of the vaginal canal. Not only that, but the hymen is not a solid sheet. It’s made up of folds and has some holes. The holes will typically be different in size depending upon how much of the vaginal corona⁠ has worn away, which is influenced by a host of factors like a person’s age, level of activity, sexual⁠ activity (like masturbation⁠), tampon⁠ usage, etc.

Now that we’re hopefully clearer on what a hymen really is, let’s move on to who has one. First off, not every person with a vagina has a hymen, period⁠. There are people with vaginas who are born without them. Beyond that, it’s not uncommon for one’s hymen to stretch and wear away through adolescence due to things like physical activity, accidents or trauma⁠, tampon usage, masturbation, etc. So many, many women don’t have much of a hymen left by the time they first become sexually active⁠ at all. Typically, what is left of one’s hymen will have many holes and openings or may only be a slight residual ring around the vaginal opening⁠.

So, in other words, there are lots of factors that can influence the wearing away of the hymen/corona. In most cases, the hymen isn't thick and resilient. But there are some exceptions:

In rarer cases, there are some people who may have a stubborn hymen that prevents insertion of anything or (even more rarely) does not allow for the passage of menstrual⁠ fluid. For these people, a simple, in office procedure by a gynecologist⁠ can solve the problem. In this instance, the hymen is snipped away to allow for comfortable insertion.

(From the "Why hasn't my cherry popped?" advice column)

The hymen is made up of thin folds of tissue that, when we’re young, mostly covers the vaginal opening⁠. It’s right there in front, so when we have one – or even part of one – with the simple use of a hand mirror, we can take a look at it. It doesn’t have any nerve endings of its own, though it’s connected to the vaginal opening, which does have nerve endings.

As we get older, and start puberty⁠, the hymen starts to slowly and gradually wear away, through a whole lot of things: via hormones⁠ (namely estrogens), vaginal fluids and menstruation⁠, general physical activity, tampon⁠ use, masturbation⁠ and yep, partnered vaginal sex. At first there are just very small openings, or tiny holes, in that tissue. Over time, those holes become bigger and bigger, and eventually, in most people with vaginas, the hymen wears away so much that only tiny portions of it remain, just behind the vaginal opening.

Like anything else on the body, the hymen can vary between people. For some, that tissue is a bit thicker than for others; for some, that hymen is more resilient – or tougher – than for others. For a minority of people with vaginas, the hymen doesn’t wear away as it should at all, in which case vaginal entry⁠ or intercourse⁠ will be all but impossible, and for those people, attempts at such WILL generally be very painful because of the hymen, and they’ll need to have a very simple and painless procedure done called a hymenectomy, by their doctor.

(From the "And more with the popping of cherries." advice column)

Does this answer your follow-up question? If I understood differently, feel free to clarify!

[Autumn_leaves]

Yes, it does. Thank you!

[Heather]

Since it sounds liek this question wasn't answered for you, I want to add that while a lot of people talk about the hymen -- or even their hymen -- tearing, that's just not how this happens for many people. As explained, what happens for most folks is that it wears away gradually, pretty much over a lifetime.

But hymens, like any other part of the body, can also be injured, and when that happens, and the hymen is mostly still intact (and that will only be the case for a minority of people who are at the point of life where they are having menstrual periods), or because of injury to the vaginal opening or vagina as a whole, then yes, the hymen *can* tear. When that's the case, that kind of injury is most often due to sexual assault. Secondarily, it can happen when a partner with consensual vaginal sex is being very aggressive or rough -- and probably also not paying attention to their partner, or thinking it's normal there should be pain (it isn't), since even though the hymen itself doesn't have nerve endings, it's attached to the vaginal opening, which has many, so the person who that is happening to is usually experiencing pain.