I am worried about my sexuality

[NeedHelp1919]

I’m 17 and I’m confused and worried about my sexual habits. For several years, my masturbation has been tied to a very specific kind of violent imagery involving men, and it’s become my default trigger even though I don’t want to harm anyone and it doesn’t reflect how I feel about people in real life. This makes me anxious about what it means for my sexuality, whether it’s something my brain got conditioned to, and whether it can change. I also worry because I’m not sure yet how I feel about attraction or love toward women, and I don’t want to jump to conclusions or labels. I’m looking for understanding, not judgment, and guidance on whether this is something that can be worked through in a healthy way.

[mikky]

Hi NeedHelp1919,

Before I dive in, it's important that your stated profile age is aligned with your actual age: it helps us help you. Can you let us know if you need help adjusting this?

We are never here to judge! It seems like you are aware that this imagery you experience is not a reflection of what you really want or feel. Many folks experience intrusive, unwanted thoughts related to or around sex. While these thoughts don't necessarily "mean" something about your sexualities, I do think they can be extremely impactful in how we react to wanted thoughts, and pleasure in general. Changing something that has become "default" can take some concentrated effort, and might mean needing to engage with a mental health professional.

Can you share more about the worries you have about how you feel toward women? Does this feel related to you?