Sexual shame while being gay and religious
-
Becky
- scarleteen staff/volunteer
- Posts: 105
- Joined: Fri Jan 19, 2024 5:29 pm
- Age: 32
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: She/They
- Sexual identity: Queer
- Location: USA
Re: Sexual shame while being gay and religious
I would definitely recommend trying some of the sleeping techniques we suggested and then coming back and letting us know how those worked for you.
Sometimes when something is causing us anxiety, we can have trouble falling asleep because our thoughts are just spinning and spinning. Some people describe it as having "multiple tabs" open in their brain (and one is playing a song that you can't turn off haha).
I experience this myself a lot. And yes, it is often recommended for "sleep hygiene" to not use screens before bed. But in my experience, I've found that for those of us whose brains work a little different sometimes you can use screens in a helpful way.
For example, there's a lot of YouTube channels or podcasts out there who will read books to you. Like an audio book but sometimes there's some white noise or rain sounds built in for an extra cozy sleeping environment.
These work a lot better for me than a meditation or counting backwards because my brain can't get distracted by my own thoughts because the narrator's voice is taking up too much space in my focus. Another favorite of mine is to listen to a video essay that I've already seen (or already seen multiple times) so there's some noise in my brain, but it's not my own anxious thoughts and I also don't have to pay super close attention to it because I've already watched the video. (This usually knocks me right out haha)
I think in a previous post you mentioned that you do have a counselor or therapist, right? Have you talked to them about these thoughts keeping you up at night and having trouble sleeping?
Sometimes when something is causing us anxiety, we can have trouble falling asleep because our thoughts are just spinning and spinning. Some people describe it as having "multiple tabs" open in their brain (and one is playing a song that you can't turn off haha).
I experience this myself a lot. And yes, it is often recommended for "sleep hygiene" to not use screens before bed. But in my experience, I've found that for those of us whose brains work a little different sometimes you can use screens in a helpful way.
For example, there's a lot of YouTube channels or podcasts out there who will read books to you. Like an audio book but sometimes there's some white noise or rain sounds built in for an extra cozy sleeping environment.
These work a lot better for me than a meditation or counting backwards because my brain can't get distracted by my own thoughts because the narrator's voice is taking up too much space in my focus. Another favorite of mine is to listen to a video essay that I've already seen (or already seen multiple times) so there's some noise in my brain, but it's not my own anxious thoughts and I also don't have to pay super close attention to it because I've already watched the video. (This usually knocks me right out haha)
I think in a previous post you mentioned that you do have a counselor or therapist, right? Have you talked to them about these thoughts keeping you up at night and having trouble sleeping?
“All of us have to learn how to invent our lives, make them up, imagine them. We need to be taught these skills; we need guides to show us how. If we don't, our lives get made up for us by other people.” -- Ursula K. Le Guin
-
blanketlover
- not a newbie
- Posts: 21
- Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2025 9:36 am
- Awesomeness Quotient: i love physical media
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: lesbian?
- Location: UK
Re: Sexual shame while being gay and religious
Thank you and yes ill try the other options before I can give you my feedback. Thanks again also for the other tips as well. It's nice to know that it can be different for everyone. Also I did not talk to my counselor about my sleep problems.
-
Becky
- scarleteen staff/volunteer
- Posts: 105
- Joined: Fri Jan 19, 2024 5:29 pm
- Age: 32
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: She/They
- Sexual identity: Queer
- Location: USA
Re: Sexual shame while being gay and religious
I think it's definitely worth bringing up with your counselor. Good sleep is sooo important for our overall health! And yes, definitely give some of those techniques a try and let us know how they work for you. 
“All of us have to learn how to invent our lives, make them up, imagine them. We need to be taught these skills; we need guides to show us how. If we don't, our lives get made up for us by other people.” -- Ursula K. Le Guin
-
blanketlover
- not a newbie
- Posts: 21
- Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2025 9:36 am
- Awesomeness Quotient: i love physical media
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: lesbian?
- Location: UK
Re: Sexual shame while being gay and religious
Sorry to disappoint but I'm no longer with a counselor any more so I'll just focus on the the tips you just gave me.
-
Latha
- scarleteen staff/volunteer
- Posts: 1211
- Joined: Sat May 22, 2021 8:13 am
- Age: 23
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: Queer
- Location: India
Re: Sexual shame while being gay and religious
Hello Blanketlover,
Thanks for letting us know! You don't have to worry about disappointing us by not meeting with a counselor--we're only here to help.
Thanks for letting us know! You don't have to worry about disappointing us by not meeting with a counselor--we're only here to help.
-
- Similar Topics
- Replies
- Views
- Last post