Insecure about the size of my clit

[STILETTO]

I am so ashamed but my problem is I get pretty wet during sex even before, and sometimes I lose sensation down there because there isn't enough friction.
I also have a very big clit! Is it disgusting to men ? I’m insecure about it.

[amber]

Hi STILETTO and welcome to the boards!

I am so sorry you are feeling ashamed and upset about your body in this way, but I am glad you are here!

Getting 'wet' is your body's ways of getting aroused and ready for sexual activity. Although it is true that that process can look different for different bodies, what you are feeling is a perfectly typical way for your body to get ready to experience pleasure! Different types of touch, movements, and pressures may be helpful in allowing you to feel more friction. Instead of trying to get specific things to work for your body, you can explore what it is that makes you feel best.

The vulva, including the clitoris, varies a lot in every way that it looks! No part of your body is disgusting. I wonder if refocusing on what it is that makes you feel good, and appreciating your body for being able to do that, may help you feel better about these things.

This article may be a good start for you -- Take a Self-Love Road Trip: Let Curiosity Guide Your Masturbation

How does all that sound?

[Heather]

I also wanted to add something about the issue you're having where you feel like there isn't enough friction because of your own fluids.

I have a couple things to bear in mind:
1) How much sensation you experience vaginally will often have as much to do with how much (or how little) your clitoris is being and has been stimulated, because sensation inside the vagina has a lot to do with the internal portions of the clitoris: that's where the real sensitivity of the vaginal canal is, especially once you get past the first inch or so of the vagina. So, if you feel like you're losing sensation during vaginal sex, it may actually have less to do with being so lubricated and more to do -- or at least as much to do -- with you *only* getting vaginal sensation during sex. I'd suggest seeing what happens when you, your partner, or both, add more clitoral stimulation to vaginal sex, be that with fingers, toys or sexual positions.

2) The kind of sensation we can mostly feel in the vagina -- versus other places like the clitoris, lips, or nipples -- is about sensations of fullness or overall pressure more than friction, because the vaginal canal, with the exception of the very front and then the internal portions of the clitoris, doesn't have many of the kind of nerve endings that can really feel that kind of sensation. So, another thing to consider during sex that involves your vagina is that you might see what happens if you do something like use a toy for internal use that's wider all around than what you have been using, or, if you're having vaginal sex with partners, than whatever has been in play there, be that toys or a penis.

3) Lastly, I'd also be curious about how long you're engaging in vaginal sex, because lubrication usually wears out over time, including self-lubrication, so it may also be that if you just spend more time with that kind of sex than you have been, that that feeling of reduced sensation is temporary.

I do also just want to be sure that this extra lubrication is only happening for you when you are aroused. I say that because if it isn't, I'd just also make sure that this is lubrication and not an infection. Sometimes bacterial vaginosis, in particular, presents with lots of extra fluids. <3

Additionally, you may find this article helpful when it comes to your insecurities about your clitoris: Vagzilla! (Or, All Genitals Great and Small).