Precum and fingering

[unknownboy_]

Hello, I'm sorry if asked this question as it may seems stupid.
So yesterday, me and my girlfriend fingering each other. The things that made me worried is, I'm scared if theres any sperm or precum on my hand/finger. As before we do it, I touched my down there boxer to check because there is wet most likely its precum ( i guess it have dried after that ), but I did washed my hand after that with water. So after I washed my hand, then i started to finger her. Is there any possible for her to get preg from that activity? Im scared if theres any precum left on my finger or hand after i washed my hand. According to the calendar, shes getting her period next week, and her ovulation is around 1-5 august. I need an answer for this

[Anya]

Hey unknownboy_,

Welcome to the boards!

So it seems like since you washed your hands after feeling anything wet, there should be very low, to no risk of pregnancy in this situation. Sperm in general can only live for a number of seconds in the open air, and especially if ejaculate fluid is dried, all of the sperm are essentially dead at that point. Washing your hands in between activities is always a good way to both prevent transfer of fluids and also bacteria from entering the body, so good on you for doing that! If you are still worried at all about risk, I would just advise to keep communicating with your girlfriend and when she gets her period you can both rest easy! But again, there seems to be very little risk of pregnancy here to begin with.

For more information on pregnancy risk, please visit:
Can I Get Pregnant Or Pass An STI On From That?

Is there anything else we can help you with today?

[unknownboy_]

So is washing hands before doing it means safe? This sounds stupid, but can a sperm or precum came back alive when the time i finger her? So is there any chance she can get preg?

[Anya]

Hi!

Not a stupid question at all. Once sperm cells have died there is no way to bring them back to my life. So either dried or washed off, there will be very low risk once out in the open air. Washing hands for at least 20 seconds with soap and warm water is the best way to easily prevent any transfer of fluids.

[unknownboy_]

But i only wash my hand with water no soap Is that even safe?
I forgot to tell that i only fingering her outside vagina, i dont insert my finger inside her.

[Heather]

Hi there. Again, what you're describing doesn't present a viable risk of pregnancy.

It sounds like you might benefit from reading this piece carefully, which explains all that is necessary for a pregnancy to occur: https://www.scarleteen.com/read/pregnan ... rers-guide

I do need to clarify that sperm cells aren't actually something best described as alive or dead, though that's how some people simplify their explanations of how all this works. That often gives people the idea that they work like viruses or other germs, and they just don't.

Rather, sperm cells either have the ability, including the help they need, to do a thing or they don't, and it's about what gives them those abilities and what leaves them without them or takes them away.

As explained in that piece I linked up there, sperm need very specific conditions to do what they need to to do their part of creating a pregnancy, and those things include not being moved from place to place -- like from your penis, then to hands, then to someone's vulva -- (that smashes their little tails needed to help them move to where they need to go) and the fluid they have been ejaculated with, which does a few different things (giving them fluids to move with, as just like you, they can't swim without fluid to swim in, and fluid that helps counteract the acidic nature of the vagina).

Pre-ejaculate and ejaculate are easily washed away with water. Just like if you had, say, a little bit of juice on your hand and rinsed it off, that fluid would be rinsed off, and any sperm inside of it, rinsed away with it.

It does sound, though, like you just don't feel comfortable doing what you did with your partner. So, moving forward, I'd suggest either washing your hands before you touch her genitals -- which is always a good idea just to help prevent any infections from bacteria that we all carry around on our hands all the time -- or taking a few steps back and sticking to ways of being physically intimate that you feel more comfortable with for now. <3

[unknownboy_]

Update on today, shes not on her period yet because its 4 more days according to musa. Im so scared right now, just a day after the fingering until yesterday she has brownish discharge with abit of blood. Can it be implantation? I dont know if its sign of her getting period soon or what. Since before this, this sign also happen to her everytime when shes period but happen 1-2 days before her period. But this its about 3-4 days. Please help.

[mikky]

hey unknownboy_,
Apps that track cycles are not super precise to our actual bodies, and her getting some brownish discharge a few days earlier in her cycle than normal is certainly not a sign of pregnancy so much as normal variation. But this is ESPECIALLY not worrisome as "implantation bleeding," because, like we've explained, the sexual activity did not pose any kind of risk for pregnancy. Can you carefully re-read Heather's response to you? I think understanding better why this is not a risk could be helpful.

If she is also experiencing a high level of stress/panic and that is why she's filling you in on lots of details of her cycle, would you share this article with her or take a look at it together:
You're Not Pregnant. Why Do You Think You Are?
Or Pregnancy Scared?

[unknownboy_]

Thank you for the fast replies. I appreciate you guys so much for making me calm. I'm sorry if I keep on asking about my paranoid and the same question, because I was just too scared. This is my first time having manual sex with my girlfriend, and I did it with very cautious as I can, I washed my hand and so on. Its just that Im scared, even if i washed my hand, will there be some leftover precum on my hand? But you guys said Theres low to no risk. Day by days, her period due is coming soon, according to musa, I may assume that its accurate, but not all the time. like my last two period was on time the same date as Musa prediction. Im scared because after the day I finger, she told me that shes having brown discharge with a bit of blood until yesterday, that makes me crazy assume that was implantation and she told me too where whenever shes going to toilet taking some shet, she said theres brown discharge coming out when she pee. I was just confused wether that was leftover blood becuase of her period getting soon or implantation.

I forgot to tell too, after the fingering, we did dry humping on each other, but i was using my pants and boxer only, and shes undressed. Im scared if theres any precum on my pants can cause it.

Usually before this, her period symtomp will be having acnes break out always, and cramp 2-3 days before her period, and sometime yes theres discharge abit of brown but not many. Yes, she have the symtomp that her acnes break out is happening now. The thing that im scared is her brown discharge lately after we doing it and scared that might be implantation. Today, she started to have the cramp abit like waist area. Im just scared, im sorry if i asked a very stupid question.

Lastly, Shes not even scared, paranoid, anxiety, and stress about it. She told me that she know her own body. she says thats a sign shes getting period. But im still scared

[Latha]

Hello Unknownboy,

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so scared, and are struggling to feel better even though you know that there is no risk of pregnancy here. Can I ask if you've ever felt worried like this before, and what usually makes you feel better when you are afraid? I think getting mental health support from a professional can really help with fears that don't go away or are particularly difficult to manage--is that something you would like to try?

I understand it might be hard to believe, but your girlfriend is right to not worry. Even if her periods have consistently followed a certain pattern for a while, it is very normal for her to have some variation in symptoms and or see them a little earlier or later than she did last time. She does know her body best--you can follow her lead, and trust her to tell you if she needs help.

I forgot to tell too, after the fingering, we did dry humping on each other

No worries about forgetting--dry humping cannot cause pregnancy, and neither can any pre-ejaculate or ejaculate on your pants, so that does not change the risk of pregnancy in this situation.

We can't continue to reassure you about your girlfriend not being pregnant when there is no chance that it could have happened, but we can chat about what else might be causing your fears. Those articles that Mikky suggested have some great discussions of possible causes--even though they are addressed mainly to people who can be pregnant, not their partners, some explanations might apply to you. Have you had a chance to read them? Could you do that and let us know if any causes stand out?

[unknownboy_]

Yes ive read all of it, and yes i feel less anxious. But my head keep on palying with what if question. Also my head always asked the brown discharge. I wish I can share the picture to let you guys see it. Its many brown dark discharge, not like pinkish nope its really dark brown flowwy. Im curious is it implantation or just left over blood from last period

[char]

I'm glad you feel less anxious, unknownboy_. Again, it's completely understandable that you're worried. But at the same time, without invalidating how you feel, it's good to remember that you're not the person with the ability to become pregnant. On the other hand, your girlfriend, the one with the ability, has been relatively calm, right? So for now, I think it can help you a lot to take your head off of this situation for a bit and distract yourself. What are some activities you like doing to keep yourself relaxed?

(Also, as you might have figured, we don't accept images on our platform for safety reasons. Especially pictures of anyone's bodies, since that's something for medical professionals to look at.)