Scarleteen

i dont know i dont think it matters.
she looked so quiet compared to when we met. i dont know if she recognized me but i did her and i just feel disgusting. the moment i remembered all this stuff it keeps coming back again and again. i wondered if i should say hi or apologize or something but i just stayed far away. i don't belong in her life anymore. i sound so pathetic feeling so nervous about something I did
i just hope shes okay

my message didnt go through. i feel so terrible again. she looked so quiet. she laughed but she looked so quiet. i thought about saying hi and apologizing but i felt like it would be better to just stay out of her life forever so that is what i did. i feel so stupid.

Hi Bbbjjnn,

i dont know i dont think it matters.

Whether you are okay definitely matters. It does seem like seeing this girl has bought up some big worries for you again.

You know, if this girl seemed a little down or subdued, that doesn’t mean it was because of you. It’s been a few years since you were in day care together - she has a whole life that exists beyond that. Imagine all the other reasons why someone might seem quiet on a given day. She could be tired or stressed about a number of things that are not you.

And as Caitlin discussed earlier in this thread, the incident you’re worried about didn’t seem forceful at all - it just looks like the kind of sexual exploration that a lot of children go through. This event is important to you because you feel like you might have hurt her, but given how common this sort of play is, there is a good chance she doesn’t even remember it that much.

my message didnt go through

Oh, was this message a post here, or did you text this girl?

i wasnt able to find the message i sent here in the forum sorry. i did not message her. i am too worried about worrying too much about myself to consider what that could do to her. and i see what you mean. there are plenty of reasons but whenever i tell myself that it feels like im making up excuses to make myself feel better. i know what happened was "normal" i guess i just feel disgusted.

Hi bbbjjin. I'm sorry this is weighing on you so much. It sounds like you have a lot of shame about this experience.

I understand that it's hard to really believe it when we say that your experience was normal and nothing to feel guilty or disgusted about. While I'm happy to keep reinforcing that, I also wonder — what sort of support surrounding this do you think would be helpful right now? What would you like to focus on?