Talking to partner about insecuritys?

[Depressed mess]

My partner and I have been together for over 3 months now(?)
And I love them a lot, but I also feel a bit awkward bringing up things on my mind, especially insecurities. We generally have some pretty good communication but lately I’ve been wanting to talk about my body insecurities. I’m 240ish lbs and have a lot of scars and stuff. Recently all the weight loss ads and stuff have been getting to me, and I feel kinda unloveable. It’s mostly just a little nagging bit of my brain, and it’s not bad enough to cause any real issues (I don’t care what other people think for the most part)
But when it comes to my love life i feel worse about myself, like they deserve someone pretty and kind who can be there for them, not someone ugly and depressed like me. I’m not sure if I should bring this up to them, or if I do how I should

Advice would be great

[Sam W]

Hi Depressed mess,

This is definitely something you can bring up to your partner, especially if you sense they'd be supportive and try to help you feel better. Would it be helpful for us to start by using this space as place to brainstorm how to have that conversation?

[Depressed mess]

Yeah that would be really helpful

[Sam W]

Okay! So, a helpful starting place would be to think about what you want to come from the conversation. Are there particular things you'd like them do with what you tell them? Is it more about getting the feeling off your chest? Something else?

[Depressed mess]

I guess something I kinda want to ask them about is complements about my physical appearance sometimes. I work hard not to rely on others for self worth but also as this is mostly a problem when it comes to my romantic relationship complements seem like they might be nice.
As our relationship is online and we were already really close before either of us knew what the other looked like. And they’re ace, physical anything was never really part of our relationship but i feel like it might help me feel a bit more comfortable

But idk

[Heather]

It's okay to ask for verbal affirmation like this! And even if they're ace, they probably have things that aesthetically appeal to them about you, whether or not those things are sexual.

To ask for this from a partner, you can say something like, "I would really love some more verbal affirmation from you when it comes to my body. It makes me feel good about myself. Could you try and let me know more often what and how you appreciate my body with words?"