Scarleteen

Hi. Im 17 and a trans man but thats not really relevant rn. I have never been in an actual relatinship, never had a hookup, few makoutsessions but nothing serious.

I have always been interested in sexual activities and like stimulating my clit or whatever (i fell awkward talking abt this sorry if the wording is cringe) but i never had an orgasm, even tho i am turned on quite frequently. I tried fingering aswell but that didnt even feel as good as just stimulating, and even if I do that, i feel good for abt 5 minutes then there is peak but not like that satisfying and i dont actually have an orgasm. After that I just feel really sensitive and if im watching a video or smt i just get disgusted/awkward.

I dont really think of this as a big problem, like i feel fine, and i dont want to have sex with a man at all, (not even attracted to them) i dont even know if i would want anyone pleasureing me there, doesnt sound appealing tbh and i like to be on the giving end (?, im not sure how to word this lol). I just want to know if this is normal, and if someone were to share or have insight, please do tell, thanks.

Hi there, welcome to the boards!

Don't worry, nothing you said is cringe or anything - this is exactly what we're here for! To answer your question "is this normal" (although we don't really like using the term 'normal' around here), yes it is very common. Many folks don't experience orgasm until their 20s, 30s, more or even ever for some people. As you noted, it's still possible to have pleasurable sex (both solo and partnered) without orgasm, as it's not a necessary part of sex and shouldn't be the most important or "peak" part of it, either.

Pleasure is the way to measure if you're enjoying the sex you're having, and focusing on orgasms can put a lot of pressure on people which often reduces the likelihood of having an orgasm. Our brain is our primary sex organ, so if you're feeling stressed or anxious about sex, it won't be as enjoyable.

It's also very common for people with a vulva to prefer clitoral stimulation over vaginal insertion - some people don't even enjoy that at all, and again, it's not a necessary part of sex! Sex (masturbation included) can be whatever you want it to be as long as it feels good and is safe.

Does that help alleviate some of your concerns? Feel free to also ask any follow up questions, and I also suggest browsing our site (you can search specific topics even in the message boards) because this is a topic we get often! <3

Hii
Thank you so much, i was a bit worried, but did some browsing and i dont feel weird abt , now that i see im not the only one and that put a peace in my mind. Again thank you! Im really glad i found this web, answered so many of my questions