Fingering

[montanna]

I am 22 and a virgin. I tried to engage in sex with my boyfriend for the first time but unfortunately no penetration took place. I don’t know if this is because I was too nervous or scared. My question is, what are ways that I can break my own virginity using my fingers before I allow vaginal to penis penetration. Because I noticed there is a small opening just above my anus and I inserted two fingers, i could feel some discomfort and my fingers went in half way, i couldn’t go any further as I am paranoid and scared. Any advice on how to go about breaking my own virginity or stretching my vaginal opening using my fingers ?

[AliahMaharaj]

Hi montanna, welcome to the boards

First off, I want to ask, when you say no penetration took place, do you mean you and your boyfriend tried to involve penetration in the sex you were having and it was difficult or uncomfortable, or do you mean you both decided not to try penetration at that point?

(I also want to point out that penetration doesn’t have to happen at all in order for an experience to “count” as sex).

As for your questions about virginity and preparing for penis-in-vagina sex, let me start by saying that virginity isn’t something you have to break in order to prepare for any kind of sex.

The idea that something has to break in order for someone to “lose their virginity” refers to the myth that the hymen (the established term for the vaginal corona) breaks during vaginal sex, but that isn’t true.

Here’s an article about the corona, which also includes information about it in relation to vaginal sex: https://www.scarleteen.com/read/bodies/ ... urround-it

Stretching your vaginal opening with your fingers ahead of time also doesn’t mean that it’s going to remain stretched or more open, and therefore “allow” you to have vaginal sex. When someone with a vagina gets aroused, the upper third of the vaginal canal expands and loosens a bit, but it doesn’t stay permanently expanded or loose. Here’s an article that explains this and other responses that can happen during arousal: https://www.scarleteen.com/read/sex-sex ... sers-guide

As it says in the first article I linked to, “For a person with a vagina to enjoy vaginal intercourse⁠ – regardless of how many times they have done it and what is being inserted in the vagina – they need to be aroused and lubricated (wet).” but that doesn’t mean you have to break or permanently stretch or change any part of your body.

Does this help with answering your questions?