I am disgusted by my kink...

[sageetherian]

Hello!! I am scared if this is the wrong place for this, but I am disgusted of my hypnosis kink, like I know it's wrong but it makes me excited to pretend to have power (I'm shy)

Is this normal? Is it okay?

[Latha]

Hi Sagetherian, welcome to the boards!

Don’t worry, this is the right place for your question. It is absolutely okay to be interested in hypnosis. I’m surprised you say that you know it’s wrong - I can’t see anything bad about it.

When I’m wondering with whether a given activity is okay, I like to ask ‘Is this harming anyone?’. When the answer is no, it’s usually very hard to make the case that people shouldn’t do it. You are not harming anyone with a hypnosis kink. It really isn’t more dangerous than other kinds of sex - that is to say, all you have to do is prioritise safety and consent in the usual way.

‘Is this normal?’ is such an interesting question. By one way of looking at it, yes, a hypnosis kink is normal - there are so many ways for human beings to be sexual, and this is one. But we could also think about what we mean by the word ‘normal’. We have an article that gets into this. Would you read it, and tell us what you think?: Am I normal? Who cares?

[Heather]

I also want to just poke my nose in here to remind you that if this is a question that's about more than if it's okay to fantasize about this, what we have fantasies about, or feel excited about the idea of, often doesn't turn out to be the same thing we want to actually do with people for real, and the less experience we have being in sexual interactions or relationships with people, the more likely it often is that something like this is more about fantasy than reality. On top of that, we'll want to keep in mind that some things may just be way ahead of where we or our sexual partners (or potential partners) are.

At 13, I think it's generally safe to say that most of your peers you'd be involved with, if there are any yet, are not yet going to be at things like hypnosis play, because most folks your age -- maybe also including you -- don't yet have experience yet even with things like dating or being physical together at all or consenting around pretty low-key stuff like kissing or hand-holding.

Maybe it's different for you and your circles, and if so, we can talk about this differently, but chances are good that this is something so far ahead of where you are or might soon be with a partner that worrying about if it's okay or not as more than a fantasy just likely isn't something you need to do. Fantasies -- about anything, truly, this or a million other things, including things that really wouldn't be okay or safe IRL -- are always okay, because they are only thoughts, not actions. <3