Scarleteen

forgive me for any awkward language here- i'm asexual and get squicked out by most sexual terms (can somebody please come up with better words for the vulva?)

okay so i have yknow the opposite of a dick and i have never orgasmed and it FUCKING SUCKS MAN!! because i'm 16 i am horny ALL THE TIME. it's usually very distracting and i tend to mastrubate in blocks of 2ishhours before i get bored and give up but i'm still not usually satisfied. it doesn't interfere with my life, or anything, i have a ton of time on my hands, but still. sometimes i'll find myself grinding against the seam in the crotch of my pants because i'm that fucking horny like what??? access to uh stimulatory material (in this case, erotica) is not hard and i've found stuff i like, and i can be very aroused, but it just never goes anywhere. fingering does NOTHING for me, i know where my g-spot is but it also does nothing, and i only respond to clitoral stimulation when it's very intense. usually after an hour ish of warming up, i'll start to get close, and i'll increase stimulation but then i'll have to press harder or go faster than my fingers will allow and they just give out and i immediately lose it and become not aroused. i've been mastrubating since around age 11 or 12 and it still hasn't fucking happened and AUUGHH i know not focusing on it and shit but like!! i get so close?? and then the biological limitations of my fucking hands betray me. i went about a year without doing much mastrubation at all and that made it much worse, lol, i stopped bc i was so horny i couldn't think straight. anyway helppppp am i screwed until i can go buy a powerful vibrator???? bc this is the ONLY stimulation that's ever worked for me

Hi mae_blossom! Thanks for opening up to us about your concerns.

First, I'd like to answer your question in the end, since it ties to my main answer: no, I don't think you'd be screwed because there's currently only one form of stimulation that's worked for you so far. There's virtually a lot of ways you can masturbate that you may have not tried before, not to mention what we like and dislike sexually can change over time.

That said, it's worth noting that orgasm only lasts for mere seconds, and it definitely won't magically get rid of your frustration. In your message, you've already recognized that it's best not to deliberately focus on chasing your orgasm, but is there anything you haven't mentioned that may have influenced your focus when masturbating? Also, what do you expect from experiencing orgasm in the first place? All in all, your frustration definitely needs addressing.

I hope this helps!

Hi there, MountainMix! I’m glad to hear that your girlfriend has gotten the help that she needs and that she been feeling better!

I like your therapist’s advice. If there is to be any chance of healing into a better relationship for both of you, you’ll definitely need to take it slow and have strong boundaries. If you are looking to stay in this relationship, it may be a good time to revisit the question of what you need/want, and what it means to have a healthy relationship in the first place. Would you look over these articles, and keep them in mind as you proceed?
Hello, Sailor! How to Build, Board and Navigate a Healthy Relationship
Supermodel: Creating & Nurturing Your Own Best Relationship Models

I do want to check in on where you are with all this. How do you feel about the state of your relationship right now? You can appreciate the changes your girlfriend has made and still have other needs because of how things have been in the past.