Dating with a Service Animal
Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2025 9:45 pm
Hello, Scarleteen Boards!
At the beginning of this year, I made a huge alteration to my life. I began working with my first medical alert dog. She has changed my life for the better.
Like many people who have mobility aids, medical devices or service dogs, I have a complex relationship with seeing myself as someone who needs that kind of very public extra support. Even just typing this out, I can feel some difficult feelings creeping in. I balance a sort of complex shame with the comfort and empowerment of having a devoted medical aid by my side. (Her scruffy face and big brown eyes add to the comfort too.) I have scoured the web for advice on dating with a service animal and have been left with lots to desire.
Some new unanticipated aspects of having a service dog have come into my sex and dating life. A lot of things experienced during sex, changes in hormones, breathing and heart rate, are both things my service dog is trained to alert to and things that can trick my body into a PTSD activation episode.
I am currently taking a break from the apps (what a hellscape they can be at times). That being said, when I was on them and asked on dates, I was faced with the question of 'Do I disclose that I am showing up with a service dog?'. I did not want to lead with the fact that I have a medical condition, nor did I want anyone to rescind their date offer.
If I could start over, I would have disclosed every time. While it is a very intimate part of my story, it is an unavoidable front-facing one. Despite how publicly visible it is that I require extra support, I'd remind myself that no date is entitled to know my pup's tasks, alerts or my condition. Plus, she is kind of the ultimate litmus test. People's reactions were very telling if they were worth my time or not. It showed whether people were willing to respect us and our teamwork by ignoring her and letting her do her job as needed.
I am still learning to navigate this niche space of dating with a service dog. But these are my feelings and what I have found is true for me so far. Hopefully this helps someone feel less alone in their intersections of medical equipment and relationships. I am happy to contribute to this corner of internet that I have found to be fairly unaddressed.
Any kind thoughts, words of encouragement or shared experiences are appreciated!
At the beginning of this year, I made a huge alteration to my life. I began working with my first medical alert dog. She has changed my life for the better.
Like many people who have mobility aids, medical devices or service dogs, I have a complex relationship with seeing myself as someone who needs that kind of very public extra support. Even just typing this out, I can feel some difficult feelings creeping in. I balance a sort of complex shame with the comfort and empowerment of having a devoted medical aid by my side. (Her scruffy face and big brown eyes add to the comfort too.) I have scoured the web for advice on dating with a service animal and have been left with lots to desire.
Some new unanticipated aspects of having a service dog have come into my sex and dating life. A lot of things experienced during sex, changes in hormones, breathing and heart rate, are both things my service dog is trained to alert to and things that can trick my body into a PTSD activation episode.
I am currently taking a break from the apps (what a hellscape they can be at times). That being said, when I was on them and asked on dates, I was faced with the question of 'Do I disclose that I am showing up with a service dog?'. I did not want to lead with the fact that I have a medical condition, nor did I want anyone to rescind their date offer.
If I could start over, I would have disclosed every time. While it is a very intimate part of my story, it is an unavoidable front-facing one. Despite how publicly visible it is that I require extra support, I'd remind myself that no date is entitled to know my pup's tasks, alerts or my condition. Plus, she is kind of the ultimate litmus test. People's reactions were very telling if they were worth my time or not. It showed whether people were willing to respect us and our teamwork by ignoring her and letting her do her job as needed.
I am still learning to navigate this niche space of dating with a service dog. But these are my feelings and what I have found is true for me so far. Hopefully this helps someone feel less alone in their intersections of medical equipment and relationships. I am happy to contribute to this corner of internet that I have found to be fairly unaddressed.
Any kind thoughts, words of encouragement or shared experiences are appreciated!