Scarleteen

Okay I need like proper help lmao. I’m 14y/o- and most people I have spoken to in real life about this have said I’m too young to figure out. But. I’m just going to say how I feel- and it would be amazing if someone told me or at least helped me figure out if I am transgender or I really am just a confused teen.

- I showed a ton of early childhood signs. I was a tomboy- liked dressing up as a boy. I know this one is stupid, but on Roblox- I’d dress up as a guy, and I felt so much happier. I can also vividly remember being in the garden, and sending a prayer to God that I will wake up as a boy the next day.

- Everytime I see a male, I get this weird feeling of anger- but also sadness. I feel like I want to be like them. My friends will tell me how attractive they are, meanwhile- I’m they’re just like- I wish I could have my hair like that, have a flat chest.
I even get jealous of literal BABIES that are off the male identity, because I get jealous they’re a cis male and get to be.

- Last year, I dressed masculine. I had a habit of pretending I was someone else. I’ll give an example- it’s really cringe, but it’s true. I used to pretend to be Reece James’ cousin, I made a whole Tiktok account, I pretending my name was Rocco- but I did this all privately. No one knew off it. But, pretending to be a boy made me so happy.

- What confuses me now is I now dress feminine and wear makeup. I think I got bullied by my family out of my masc phase. I still have an undercut growing out lmao, but yea. I feel ugly- and overall. I just don’t feel like im me.

Sorry that was a lot lol, I just really need someone to talk that won’t judge me.

Hello and welcome Ridagot!

You’ve asked for help with thinking about your gender and to talk to someone who won’t judge — that sounds like something we can do for you. Don’t worry, this isn’t a lot.

I think it’s interesting that you’ve asked whether you are trans or just a confused teen. Questioning is a part of life, and often is something we have to do in order to understand ourselves well. It would be okay to explore the idea of being trans even if you were not totally sure. You can always reevaluate later, but you can’t know if you don’t ask the question. This really should be simple, so I’m sorry to hear that your family hasn’t reacted well to how you’ve expressed your gender.

Dressing femininely and wearing makeup doesn’t mean that you are not trans or that you can’t be a boy. Boys can do both of those things, and as you suggested, engaging in traditionally feminine behaviour could very well be a result of pressure from your family — it doesn’t seem to make you happy. But I’m noticing a clear sense on your part that understanding yourself as a boy and being seen as one would make you happy. To be honest, your words don’t seem all that confused to me. Your gender is for you to decide. If you want to be a boy, you can be one.

What do you think of this?

I’ll give an example- it’s really cringe, but it’s true.

I understand how this might feel embarrassing, but I assure you there is nothing wrong with it. In fact, I think it is cool — imaginative play is something that people should do more often.