Hi. I’m a teenage girl. I’ve never fingered myself even though the idea of it is appealing. I don’t feel like I’m getting the most out of what I’m doing right now. What frightens me about it is that I might hurt myself. Maybe by accidentally scratching myself and bleeding. Maybe I'll try to touch the wrong parts. I don’t know much about the anatomy of the vagina, which also stops me from trying. Finding out there was more than one opening until a few months ago was shocking news to me. I know, it’s really embarrassing. I just haven't received proper education about my parts.
How can I learn about the anatomy of my genitalia and stimulate the right parts safely? Which parts are commonly the most stimulating? I hope it doesn't sound like I'm asking for step-by-step instructions but more so info about my questions. I would only be comfortable with staff replies from other queer women or people with vaginas. Thank you.
Vagina anatomy and stimulation
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ilikecats28
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Heather
- scarleteen founder & director
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Re: Vagina anatomy and stimulation
Hey there, ilikecats.
I'm going to start you off with a few links to pieces here that explain this anatomy and activity to you:
• With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body This one includes the anatomy of the vaina, but it also tells you about all sexual anatomy, including things that are connected to our surround the vagina and impact how it feels, like the internal portions of the clitoris
• Innies & Outies: The Vagina, Clitoris, Uterus and More
• Let's Get Metaphysical: The Etiquette of Entry This one is about any kind of activity that involves something being inside the vagina, so even though a lot of it focuses on sex with a partner, it's all really good stuff to keep in mind for this kind of sex with yourself.
Per safety with this kind of exploration, it's actually pretty hard to hurt yourself if you just do a couple basic things. For one, if and when anything hurts, you want to stop doing and not do that thing, or do it in a way it hurts. You'll also just want to be surer your hands are washed, your nails are trimmed and you don't have any ragged hangnails, and you'll want to be sure and use a lubricant. That really is about it. It might help to remember that vaginas can handle whole infants being pushed through them! With the right kind of basic care, vaginas are actually impressively resilient.
I do want to say that the vagina itself doesn't have that many sensory nerve endings, nothing near what an organ like the clitoris does. For that reason, and because pleasurable sensation of the vagina tends to come more from overall pressure inside of it than things like soft touches, you may find, as many people do, that fingers inside yourself doesn't feel like much. So, it may be that while all of this is good to know, if the rest of your masturbation is feeling blah to you, this probably isn't going to solve for that and it might be useful to talk some about what you're already doing and how that feels for you to see if we can't help you figure out how to make it feel more satisfying.
I'm going to start you off with a few links to pieces here that explain this anatomy and activity to you:
• With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body This one includes the anatomy of the vaina, but it also tells you about all sexual anatomy, including things that are connected to our surround the vagina and impact how it feels, like the internal portions of the clitoris
• Innies & Outies: The Vagina, Clitoris, Uterus and More
• Let's Get Metaphysical: The Etiquette of Entry This one is about any kind of activity that involves something being inside the vagina, so even though a lot of it focuses on sex with a partner, it's all really good stuff to keep in mind for this kind of sex with yourself.
Per safety with this kind of exploration, it's actually pretty hard to hurt yourself if you just do a couple basic things. For one, if and when anything hurts, you want to stop doing and not do that thing, or do it in a way it hurts. You'll also just want to be surer your hands are washed, your nails are trimmed and you don't have any ragged hangnails, and you'll want to be sure and use a lubricant. That really is about it. It might help to remember that vaginas can handle whole infants being pushed through them! With the right kind of basic care, vaginas are actually impressively resilient.
I do want to say that the vagina itself doesn't have that many sensory nerve endings, nothing near what an organ like the clitoris does. For that reason, and because pleasurable sensation of the vagina tends to come more from overall pressure inside of it than things like soft touches, you may find, as many people do, that fingers inside yourself doesn't feel like much. So, it may be that while all of this is good to know, if the rest of your masturbation is feeling blah to you, this probably isn't going to solve for that and it might be useful to talk some about what you're already doing and how that feels for you to see if we can't help you figure out how to make it feel more satisfying.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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ilikecats28
- not a newbie
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- Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2025 9:33 am
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- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: Queer
- Location: California
Re: Vagina anatomy and stimulation
Okay, thank you so much. I will check these resources out. Also, I think I've heard of the clitoris, but I believed that it was part of the vagina. I guess I was asking about everything down there. I thought "vagina" encompassed all of it. Is "vulva" is the better word? Also, what are some examples of substances that work as lubricant? I noticed that you mentioned lubricant, which makes me a little less anxious.
Last edited by ilikecats28 on Thu Jul 31, 2025 10:49 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Heather
- scarleteen founder & director
- Posts: 10777
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 1:43 pm
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- Pronouns: they/them
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- Location: Chicago
Re: Vagina anatomy and stimulation
I'm happy to answer those questions here, but they are also all answered in the pieces I linked you to, which I wrote or co-wrote, so what I say here is going to sound a lot like what I wrote there! Are you down to read those pieces then circle back here for more questions you have after reading them?
Per lubricants, the best lubes are those that are man-made and made to *be* lubricants for sexual activity. What kind you wind up liking in particular is often a matter of trying a few and seeing how you like them. My best advice on that is to try and find some small sizes of a water-based, a hybrid (silicone and water) and a silicone lube and see which of those groups you like best, then explore brands from there. But if those kinds of lubes are out of reach for you, and you only have what you can find in a home, then you're limited in terms of what is actually safe. Might there be any coconut oil -- the kind used for cooking -- where you live? If so, that's one of the rare safe kitchen oils for the vulva and vagina.
Per lubricants, the best lubes are those that are man-made and made to *be* lubricants for sexual activity. What kind you wind up liking in particular is often a matter of trying a few and seeing how you like them. My best advice on that is to try and find some small sizes of a water-based, a hybrid (silicone and water) and a silicone lube and see which of those groups you like best, then explore brands from there. But if those kinds of lubes are out of reach for you, and you only have what you can find in a home, then you're limited in terms of what is actually safe. Might there be any coconut oil -- the kind used for cooking -- where you live? If so, that's one of the rare safe kitchen oils for the vulva and vagina.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
-
ilikecats28
- not a newbie
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2025 9:33 am
- Age: 16
- Awesomeness Quotient: Empathetic
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: Queer
- Location: California
Re: Vagina anatomy and stimulation
Yeah of course, sorry about that! I didn't have a private space to actually take my time to read the resources before but I do right now.
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Heather
- scarleteen founder & director
- Posts: 10777
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 1:43 pm
- Age: 56
- Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for nearly 30 years!
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: they/them
- Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
- Location: Chicago
Re: Vagina anatomy and stimulation
No worries! Feel free to circle back around if you want to talk more when you have!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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