Scarleteen

Hi, I'm sixteen and have never orgasmed before. I'm pretty proficient with masturbating, I know what I like and always enjoy it, but every time I feel like I'm close to finishing, I get this weird wave of sadness/guilt/shame/disgust and it makes me want to stop. It's super intense and really takes me out of it. There's no real thoughts during the moment, it just feels bad. How can I tackle this? I've always been really accepting of the fact that I have certain needs, I don't feel ashamed to be sexual with myself except when I'm about to get there. It's really annoying!

Hello and welcome, tinedrise!

So, you have a good sense of what you enjoy with masturbation and you are usually comfortable with your sexuality, except for when you get this wave of bad feelings out of the blue. And it isn't even obvious why this is happening... Oh, that does sound annoying! I'm glad you've asked about it, though -- we can think over it together. To start, I have a few questions:

• Outside of masturbation, how does it feel to think about orgasms, both in general and in relation to you, specifically?

• I know you've said there are no real thoughts during the moment -- do you think you could try to stay there for a little while and see if any thoughts do come up?

Hi! Sorry for the wait, just checking back in. I got my first vibrator and um. It's not really an issue anymore. I think i was misidentifying the swooping stomach feeling for anxiety when I'm pretty sure it was just physical and things happen so quick with the vibe that there's no chance for me to get in my head about it.

Hi tinedrise! I totally get what you mean about maybe misidentifying a physical sensation for an emotional reaction — that happens to me a lot with anxiety too. I'm glad to hear that things are going better now!