How can I know if I'm addicted to masturbation?

[CrazyBonobo]

How can I be sure of this? I only have the internet to inform me about these things, and the internet is polarized on these kinds of issues. Searching on it you will basically find two types of sites:
1) SciComm sites where the topic is discussed vaguely, extremely permissive and out-of-touch with cultural expectations

2) Christian/coach websites trying to sell you something, even if it's just their ideology.

For example, no one is clear about what a healthy frequency would be. At most, they'll (the SciComm sites) give you some study showing that "x% of men reported masturbating 659 times in a week, Y% of women reported doing it 749 times," and so on, as if this were any use in helping you evaluate your own habits. They'll just say it's different for each individual and only becomes an addiction when it interferes with things like your work. This creates two layers of subjectivity when you try to understand yourself. Interference with work is a particularly bad indicator of pathologies, because in contemporary society, time is lived in such a way that everything (relationships, needs, hobbies, etc.) seems to be interfering with your work, and work seems to always be invading non-work. Everything gets jumbled together, with work generally taking precedence for materially supporting everything else.
The internet is just a giant steaming pile of shit when it comes to understanding these things. If I search about a species of jellyfish, I end up more knowledgeable. If I search about masturbation, I end up dumber.

[char]

Hi CrazyBonobo,

As someone who lives in a country where purity culture is the norm, I completely agree with you that a lot of discussions on masturbation, especially in the English-speaking sphere, can sometimes be culturally insensitive. This is not to say that purity culture doesn't exist at all in the US or the UK, but at the same time pieces coming from both conservative and progressive platforms in this language can come across as ignoring the fact that purity culture is a much larger deal in a lot of countries, especially those that were (or still are) colonized.

You've pointed this out in your post: a lot of research on the frequency of masturbation to be considered "addiction" or "problematic" aren't necessarily done to seek knowledge, but rather to prove a point (or sell "masturbation addiction" courses; heck, I know someone from university who used to do this!). I use quotation marks for the term "masturbation addiction" since it is not a thing in the DSM and ICD (both widely used psychiatric and medical guides), but we can't deny that a lot of people, especially religious ones, see masturbation as inherently impure and sinful.

People like this feel like their call to masturbate is "a temptation from the Devil", yet they aren't able to stop themselves from doing so. Comprehensive sexual education (like we do here at Scarleteen) is key to manage these emotions, including the decision to continue masturbating or trying to limit masturbation while not seeing it as a negative action. But then you have to consider other factors like class, gender, and the system around them. If these sex-positive messages aren't repeated anywhere else, then it'll be challenging for them to have a more forgiving, less self-shaming view of their own masturbation habits.

At the same time, I feel that your question can also be reframed as "What does masturbation mean to me?". From your previous posts, I can tell that you're someone who thinks critically of their own sexuality, and perhaps this can be a time to reflect on your own beliefs (or reflect again if you've done so)? In part, this question can also answer how much masturbation is too much masturbation for you.

For instance, if you think masturbating is merely a way to kill time (i.e. interfering with work, as you put it), maybe you'll be more likely to feel like you should be "more productive" and do something else instead of masturbating. In contrast, if you feel like masturbation is a valuable call to embrace your desire, there is no "right" frequency and intensity for masturbating.

In the end, as much as it can be an unhelpful conclusion, I think for now the answer truly lies on the person, but we do have to demand accountability for the institutions at large (such as the government) to actually make education, including that of comprehensive sex ed, available for all.

I hope my response can provide some insight for you! What do you think?