Scarleteen

sorry, i know there are tons and TONS of entries for this topic but i can't go through all of them to find the help i'm looking for. i'm 18, and i've been masturbating for a while now. my upbringing was very strictly 'no-boys, no-partners' so i've been doing everything solo. and it's fine, masturbating feels good and all but i feel like i've never reached the point where everyone says they have.
and before anyone says anything, i've tried all the tips and tricks, i promise. vibrators, dildos. fingers here, fingers there. nothing seemed to work.
i'm curious, could i have orgasmed and missed it? i do feel extreme pleasure but not really in the way people describe. like i've never experienced a 'mind-blanking moment' while masturbating. ugh so frustrating.

So, popular media often suggests that what we do physically -- the tips and tricks, as it were -- is the key to reaching orgasm.

But that's often dead wrong.

What tends to most influence if someone experiences orgasm or not are a few things:
• How turned on they are before and during whatever sexual activity they are doing, be it masturbation or sex with a partner
• How comfortable they feel letting go of the feeling of control of their body so that if/when orgasm is on the way, they are able to keep doing what they are doing physically that's getting them there, and then able to let it happen, rather than holding back
• How much they are focused on orgasm: when people focus on orgasm, try to orgasm, is when orgasm is often the least likely to happen. If someone is frustrated about orgasm, that also tends to keep it from happening. When orgasm is most likely to happen is when people focus just on feeling turned on and feeling good, NOT on orgasm at all.

After all that is when what we are doing physically can matter.

Looking at that list of those three things, what do you think? Do you think any or all of those things have been an issue for you?