Scarleteen

hii! i’m new to posting on here so idk if i’m doing this correctly but lately i’ve been trying to find different ways to orgasm since i really only know one way that i’ve used all my life and that’s grinding my thighs together. but almost every time i do it, it feels really anti climactic and i don’t feel like i’ve fully finished, so i’ve been trying clitoral stimulation with my hands instead. but every time i touch or rub my clitoris, aroused or not, it gets really uncomfortable to the point i have to pull away.

i’ve tried bearing through the discomfort a couple times, and when i do, nothing really happens except for this weird sensation like i’m going to pee (not comfortably) to the point i have to stop.

i’ve been thinking one of reasons it’s uncomfy is because i’m not wet enough so i’ve been thinking about getting some lube or smth but i’m 15 and i’m HORRIFIED to ask my mom for stuff like that. does anyone know what i could or should do?

Hi Flowerzsophiaa, and welcome to the boards!

I’m sorry to hear that the way you’ve been masturbating has felt anti-climactic! Has it always been like that, or is that sort of a new development? When you say you don’t feel like you fully finished, could you say a little more about what you mean?

So you know, the clitoris is one of the most sensitive parts of the body — it has over 10,000 nerve endings! So, it’s normal for it to feel really sensitive and, for plenty of folks, even painful. What we don’t want, though, is to push through pain or discomfort. So, it’s always a good idea to stop when it starts to feel bad.

You’re right about lube! Sometimes, rubbing the clitoris when you’re not fully lubricated can be painful. But I hear you that you’re not comfortable asking your mom for it. Do you think you could ask your mom if you had some support figuring out how to ask?

hi!! i’m pretty sure it’s almost always been anti climactic for me but i never really paid too much attention to it until now. and most of the time after i finish i don’t exactly feel like i’m fully done for some reason. i also think i’d be able to try and ask my mom i’m just not exactly sure how to ask because i don’t want it to be awkward since we don’t really talk about that kind of stuff with each other

Thank you for giving me that information! That is really helpful. So, one thing I want to mention is that not every orgasm feels the same. Sometimes it’s super intense and relieving, other times it can feel like a small sneeze, and sometimes it can be a little less exciting. If you’re feeling like you aren’t done, and you aren’t in any discomfort or pain, it might be helpful to continue exploring different ways of touching the clitoris, even if it doesn’t produce an orgasm. Oftentimes we talk to folks here about how orgasm doesn’t have to be the most important part of sexual activity (including masturbation!). Instead, it’s actually possible to experience pleasure with the parts of masturbation that lead *up* to orgasm! I find, too, that when you explore masturbation without expecting an orgasm, an orgasm can actually happen and surprise you. Especially when you’re primarily focused on the good feelings that come about when you masturbate.

We have an article on our site that I think might be helpful for you to read: Take A Self-Love Roadtrip: Let Curiosity Guide Your Masturbation. The section called “Focus on Sensation” might be relevant to you. Does reading through that article help a bit?

I know it can be uncomfortable to ask about sex with your parents, especially when they haven’t really spoken with you about sex. Is there a way you like to talk to your mom, like if you have a serious question for her? Or do you find that there’s a certain way she responds to questions better? That can be helpful to think about when deciding how to ask her. We also have another article on our site that addresses this question directly, and I think it has a lot of great advice for starting a conversation with your parents about sex: About That “Talk” With Your Parents. How does that sound to you?

One last thing I also want to mention is that it is possible to get lube from your doctor’s office, they should have little sample packs if you feel more comfortable talking to your doctor about it. So, if for any reason your mom doesn’t end up being the person to help you get lube, there’s that option too! You can also buy them at drugstores like CVS if you ever find yourself out with friends or something.