Scarleteen

For context: a couple months ago i went to a mall and bought a 7 inch dildo & lube for about 80 dollars. I have always been horrified at the idea of my parents finding anything out that could make me „lose my innocence“, so to speak, and so ive always taken rigorous care to hide any evidence or anything. The toy was in the bottom drawer of a near empty cabinet, hidden under a layer of pillows. When i got home from school today, my father said that while looking for paint sealer he found „an item“ and lube, gave me a trash bag, told me to come down with the item and the lube in the bag. I did so, he put the bag with the normal trash, made me throw it out, and promise not to tell my mother or anyone. I dont plan on stealing it back, as im certain he will be checking the trash to ensure it‘s there, given past experiences.

He explained that dildos are for adults only, and that the one i had was too big for anyone, and would hurt me.

For one i dont know why he thought my room would be a good place for paint sealer, and i also dont know why hes under the impression that seven inches would hurt me. I wont get into specifics, but it does not. If it were some giantass monster dick then maybe, but with what i got (7 INCHES) ive actually caused myself a lot of pain in the past with ‚pseudo-dildos‘ and in my eyes this is the safer option. What i do with myself isnt his business.

Hi there, Myrixx

I hope this hasn't left you feeling ashamed of having a toy or being interested in sex. Not speaking to other people about this should be more about your own interest in privacy than it being unmentionable for any reason. I wish this had been more of a conversation between you and your father rather than the one-sided situation that it sounds like. Would you say a little more about how your parents think about sex and sexuality? Have you ever had reasons to talk to your mother about these topics?

My parents are generally supportive of sexuality, though my father sometimes bristles at some things. The only time which either of them spoke about sex or sexuality was when i was 11 and my dad gave me a vague and broad „the talk“ while he played video games. It was about a minute long, and largely amounted to „do you know what sex is?“ and nothing more. My dad was very uncomfortable at the idea of me shaving, and refused to let me have an electric razor for a very long time, until he walked in on me using scissors to shave. My mother is much more fully supportive, but ive never talked to her about anything in the realm of sexuality. The reason why im choosing to use a message board is because
(1). My father would almost certainly shut me down or begin to scold me should i attempt to broach the topic.
(2). Reddit r/relationships permanently banned me for asking this there.
Im not ashamed of having a sex toy, i frankly dont assign any moral effect on having it.

I also wish i could have talked to him. I wish he would have thought about why he felt so uncomfortable about me having a sex toy instead of jumping to punishment.

Hi myrixx!

For what it's worth, I wish your dad had been more willing to have a conversation with you too.

You mentioned that your mom is a lot more supportive. Is there a reason you haven't broached the topic of sexuality with her?

Just never came up. I also don’t know how she feels about more directly sexual subjects.

Are you interested in bringing this topic up with either of your parents? Would you like to talk through how to approach that conversation?