not knowing if i overstimulate myself while masturbating?

[feelingsomet]

Hello, I'm a 25yo woman and i started masturbating only recently, because i had never felt horny in my life and i still don't. Only one night i felt horny, but i couldn't touch myself. So, I tried to see what I felt. Fingering never made me feeling anything and it actually hurt. I tried with an electrical toothbrush and it felt good, but i wasn't horny. Actually during masturbation I thought about every single thing that I could and they were not sexual at all. Then the first 5 times(different times) i released a fluid that smelled like pee, but i had peed before. After some time it stopped. Generally, i start feeling something in belly and then something like waves, but it isn't mind-blowing like people say, i don't feel horny or wet at all. What makes me question more is the fact that all these happen at most in a 1 minute of me starting and i can do it many times one after the other. Is this orgasming, overstimulating or something else? Would you think that getting a vibrator and/or orgasming cream could help? Not sure if it's related, but i struggle with my sexual identity

[HannahP]

Hi there feelingsomet! I'm sorry you're having such a struggle with this. There's a couple of different things I see going on here.

First, arousal is really important for experiencing pleasure. Even if you're not feeling horny before you start masturbating, you would want to take the time to relax, get comfortable, and get in the mood before you start touching yourself. If you're not in the mood, it's common to feel distracted or for touching to not really feel good. If you're not sure how to get yourself in the mood, I think this article has great advice: Take a Self-Love Road Trip: Let Curiosity Guide Your Masturbation

Next, it's hard for me to tell if what you're describing are orgasms or just the sexual response cycle (you can read more about that here: Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide). But either way, I think the important thing is that it doesn't sound like you're experiencing that much pleasure. I think that slowing down, getting in the mood, and following the advice in the article about masturbation I linked above could help with that.

My advice would be to start with that article and just what you have right now, your hands and your toothbrush and do some exploring. Focus on what feels good, stop doing anything that feels overwhelming, and just explore a bit. When you understand a little more about your body and what kinds of stimulation you like, then it will be a lot easier to shop for a toy that will work for you!