Scarleteen

already had this on my mind and was thinking about this for a while, but I dismissed my thoughts about it as me just needing to get off the internet, and then a friend/acquaintance reposted this dumbass shit on their Instagram story which said "when I see a tboy rejecting hyper masculinizing and rejecting feminine things" basically saying trans men being masculine is inherently bad

There's literally nowhere in this world where I belong as a trans man. Larger cishet society sees us as brainwashed little girls who will never be real men, Cis gays want nothing to do with us, feminists and queers hate men and masculinity and constantly encourage us to be more feminine even if its not authentic to us, because masculinity makes them feel "threatened". Manosphere shit can be motivational but then it's anti trans and weird about women. It's joever. Don't even know what to do atp cause there's not a single group or place that doesnt constantly shit on aspects of my identity that are important to me.

I probably just need to get off Instagram and get therapy, but I've tried that and it doesn't work. I haven't talked about this to anyone because I'm worried it makes me look terminally online but since people I actually know in real life said something its getting to the point where this stuff is actually pissing me off. Everywhere I go I'm either not cis enough and I'm paranoid about being outed in the circles I'm in, or I'm too cis for the queer "community". I've literally had multiple trans freinds tell me I'm "basically cis" when talking about personal struggles being trans(not even related to the issue was just talking about), and it wasn't in a positive way either

Hi username008,

I'm so, so sorry that you feel like you don't belong anywhere It must be so frustrating to be invalidated and rejected for being who you are everywhere you go, even by other queer people. While I'm not a trans man/masculine person myself, I completely understand what you mentioned in your post, as I also see the lack of trans men representation in media and pop culture. You're not "terminally online" for feeling this way, because it's something a lot of folks have felt and discussed, online and in real life.

I would like to reassure you that there is no "right" way to be trans. It is unfortunate and disappointing that you were met with indifference when you shared your struggles. You have the right to express yourself in a way that makes you feel good about yourself, including becoming more masculine.

When you mentioned "trans friends," I wonder if there is anyone else in your social circle that also identifies as a trans man or transmasc. If that is the case, how would you describe your relationship with them?