Scarleteen

i’m in no way desperate for a bf in general my life is actually soo busy and pretty fulfilling but when i see someone i like it would be nice to have it work out. only problem is it never seems to? i’m from a pretty small town/school so there’s all the cliques and everything and not much room to work with meeting new people but i sort of have this ache inside me for relationships with guys. i crush a lot but there was this one guy i was totally obsessed with last month. i asked him out and he already had someone (could have been lying to not hurt my feelings). it just really hurts because i thought it could happen realistically. and now we sit near each other in class and its so awkward. anyway this seems to be a recurring theme so i just dk if something’s off about my vibes or what? do i turn ppl off? (i’m autistic) every time i shoot my shot it just… doesn’t happen. i’m so jealous of other girls who seem to have everything come easy to them who always get to the worthwhile guys first. chat what is happening?? (i need to work on my self esteem ik)

Hi ireallylovecats,

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling lonely and as a fellow autistic person, I can relate with feeling like I'm the "odd one" among my classmates in the past--and that feeling can sometimes come back, even now in my 20s! So yes, this feeling isn't something that will just disappear as you grow up, but I hope you know that you're not alone. I'm sure some of the other volunteers can attest to this too.

You mentioned that you need to work on your self-esteem, which is a great idea and shows that you're aware of what you can do to be better not for others' sake, but for your own. Maybe we can help with that. I think it'd be good to reflect on your current non-romantic relationships: how do you feel about your friends? What do you like and not really like about them? How would a romantic relationship fulfill something that you don't really find, but need, in a friendship?