Never had an orgasm

[rosewisp]

Ok so up until recently I didn’t have much of an interest in masturbation. I enjoy porn and how it makes me feel but I’ve never actually tried to touch myself. (Btw I have never done anything sexual with a partner or had really any sexual thoughts about other people, I’m def on the ace spectrum or smth). About a month or two ago I did, and it felt like absolutely nothing. And I was definitely aroused. And when I attempted some penetration there was like this sort of ring of muscle that hurt. Ik not everyone enjoys penetration but it was odd.
Anyway, no matter where I touched I felt nothing. So I told my friend and she said I should get a vibrator, so I did lmao. I’ve tried it five times now with varying degrees of success. First time it felt like a whole lot of nothing again until I hit a certain spot ig, and then it went away. I’ve been able to make it be longer each time but eventually it just fades away instead of me reaching any sort of climax.
So basically I’m wondering if this is normal at all. Should I just keep trying with the vibrator? What is an orgasm even supposed to feel like??? Also. Why does it hurt to attempt any penetration? I can’t use the larger size of tampons bc it hurts too much. And if I look between my legs with a mirror I can’t really see an opening at all. It’s like it’s covered or smth.
Any advice is welcome. Thank you!

[char]

Hi rosewisp, welcome to the boards! Happy to have you here.

To answer your main question: yes, all of this is normal, especially if you've just started exploring your body through masturbation. The thing with vaginal insertion is that they often do not bring the most pleasure in masturbation, and this happens with a lot of folks with vulvas. Only the first third of the vaginal canal is particularly sensitive. In contrast, stimulating the clitoris is more likely to give more pleasure since it has thousands of nerve endings.

An orgasm can look different from one person to another--sometimes they're quite intense and body-shattering, but sometimes they're even more subtle. For many people, they feel like something is being "released," not just physically (ejaculation, colloquially known as "coming") but also mentally. But again, everyone's experience is different.

Whether you want to continue using your vibrator or not is up to you--if you'd like to use your vibrator, maybe you can try stimulating other parts of your body before going for the vaginal canal. Also, lube is your best friend! Not only will it make insertion smoother, but it can also provide a different sensation.

Here are some of our articles that can provide you with more explanation of what I'm sharing here:
- How Do You Masturbate?
- With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body
- The Great No-Orgasm-From-Intercourse Conundrum
- Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide
- Innies & Outies: The Vagina, Clitoris, Uterus and More

I hope this is helpful!