Scarleteen

I’m apart of a youth group and recently we traveled to a conference. We’re all pretty young 17–20 so we share hotel rooms with one another which is out of our control. There is two main girls that I will be discussing who is in the group. Two of the girls is who I usually share a hotel room with and is extremely fun! They never leave me out, or anything despite being best friends themselves but for this conference, I was sharing with two other girls who I’ll call girl one and two.. Even though I known them for a year, it was still pretty awkward. I had to sleep in a cot because one refused to share a bed with me and the other one had an excuse but that wasn’t what made me sad.

After one busy day, and we were back in the hotel room, girl 1 was simply do face care but my face felt sweaty and I needed to wash it really quickly. When I knocked and she let me in, she kept asking questions in which I responded “I just want to wash my face real quick” and she said so you’re not showering with a disgusted face. I keep up with my hygiene but I’m very insecure about sweat since I’m naturally a sweaty person and I understand that sometimes I do smell of musk which is why I keep deodorant in my purse but at that moment I felt really ashamed and I could barely say anything back.

Later, they just made me feel really left out. When they were talking, I responded as well but girl 2 just kept giving me side eyes and laughing. I can’t put it all to text and perhaps I am being dramatic but I knew they didn’t want me in there especially girl 2.

Soon, it was my turn to shower. I felt so insecure and lonely because I just wanted to make friends with them. I always did. Then suddenly I just started to cry, but I tried not to make any sounds. I think I was in there for like 20 minutes before I got out. When I left the bathroom, the girls was quiet and suddenly girl 1 said I could sleep in her bed and that she was just get her own room. Also girl 2 wasn’t as rude as before.

I’m pretty sure they heard me and I’m a little embarrassed. I don’t hate them. I understand that I’m pretty awkward and I do get overly emotional when I feel lonely but I wish they at least give me a chance. I always feel so left out that I always end up crying on these trips with this group due to loneliness as girl 2 and another girl in the group treat me…quite rudely and they tend to leave me out. I don’t get it, I’m two years younger than them and I don’t really talk to them too much.

Sorry, if it’s long and kinda rant—y. Thanks!

Hi Alrieayucl, I'm so sorry you felt so uncomfortable during this trip. It's not fun when we pick up on things like side eyes and people laughing at us, and the showering comment wasn't kind, especially paired with a disgusted face.

It does sound like they maybe felt bad, though, and tried to make up for it in a way. I know that doesn't undo the feelings that were caused before that, but sometimes people act certain ways and we won't understand why, and sometimes we also misinterpret intentions or situations that maybe weren't supposed to be directed at us or the tone was meant to be perceived differently. So ultimately, it's your choice if you want to forgive them and try to build a friendship with them now or not.

How can we support you? What specifically would you like to talk about regarding all this?