Scarleteen

I (14f) can't feel any physical arousal. I've tried anything you can think of other then suction toys and anal insertion(1st isn't within my means, 2nd isn't my thing). I've touched everywhere, while in the mood, and I don't feel anything physical. It just feels like skin. There is no buildup or funny feelings. Any help is appreciated, I'm desperate.

And yes I can feel mental arousal and feel it very strongly.

Hi JessicaIsNotMe, welcome to the boards!

I'm sorry to hear that you've been having issues with feeling aroused. A lot of things affect our arousal. Sometimes we feel aroused when we're "not in the mood," but sometimes it's the opposite, just like you shared here. It's completely normal for this to happen, but I understand that this is a crummy situation to be in.

You mentioned that you've touched multiple parts of your body and not feel anything, even when you feel sexual desire. I wonder if there's anything that you're not doing when you masturbate that may cause this--think your mental and physical health, surroundings, your own values about sex. Do you think there are things in your life that fall into this category, which we can perhaps work out?

I do also want to make sure that you know that a lot of times, sensation does just feel like....well, sensation. In order for the intensity of how that feels, physically and emotionally, to build, what we will often need to do is both stay in the zone when it comes to staying turned on, get *more* turned on, and experiment and explore, paying attention to anything that feels at all good, and then continuing from there.

That can look like touching that area more, or more deeply, or faster or in a variety of ways, like adding something like a toy or a fantasy, or adding sensation around areas that feel good. And sometimes following what feels good means following good feelings that are more subtle than super-obvious, kind of like if we taste something are aren't all "Wow, that's delicious!" but more, "Hmm, that makes me curious to try more." This kind of exploration also often takes time -- it isn't always instant -- and patience: if we get focused on trying to meet our expectations rather than just have open-ended experiences, we can easily wind up frustrated, which tends to turn things off in our heads.

Do you know what I mean by all that?