how do i make my trans boyfriend finish?

[kylaluna]

I've literally only ever been with cis men and don't really know how to make him feel good and i also don't wanna make him uncomfortable. any tips?

[Heather]

Hi there, kylaluna. Welcome to the boards.

You know, the only way to ever find out what any partner likes well, no matter their gender or body parts is by communicating with them (yep, including cis men). If we just feel around or guess at things, anyone is ever only going to feel so good or be so satisfied because what we all want, like and what feels good varies so, so much from one person to the next, and also is often different from partner to partner.

I assume by "finish" you mean orgasm (even though lots of times, people don't feel finished just because they had an orgasm. We can't "make" anyone orgasm: that's an involuntary nervous system response. We can do things with partners that help them get there, and again, what gets someone there is highly individual. Same goes with what each of us is and isn't comfortable with: all trans guys aren't the same just like all cis guys or people of any given gender aren't.

So, how is the sexual communication between you and your boyfriend? Have you had some talks about what each of you likes, wants to do, what things -- be that sexual activities, names for body parts, or sexual dynamics -- you each aren't comfortable with, and what limits and boundaries you may have? Have you been able to communicate with each other before, during and after any kind of sexual exploration you've already been doing, including things like kissing? have you been able to talk about what he needs when it comes to sex and his gender?