so tmi but idc anymore,
i like this girl right, and i really want to have sex with her, like really badly. honestly though idk if its just her i think i just really want sex. im genuinely so desperate i started WRITING fanfiction like wow. i think i just wanted to vent abt this since masturbating doesn't really work for me and im not actually bagging her soooooo thats not happening. i dont really know what to do about this
i really want to have sex
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Heather
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Re: i really want to have sex
Hey there, ponidoll. Welcome to the boards.
So, by all means, looking to have sex with someone because masturbation isn't working for us, or just because we really want to have sex in general, isn't really a sound way to go.
Sex with another person has to be as much about that other person as it is about us, for one: if we are hyperfocused on wanting to get off or feeling sexually frustrated because we haven't learned how to alone yet, that's just not a good setup for a sexual partner. I hear you being self-aware about not being sure if this is about her or about you just wanting sex in general: it's good you have that awareness, because if and when we're not sure like that, by all means, we shouldn't pursue sex with another person.
How about we start with a couple of things:
1) This girl that you like: what's the relationship between you two right now? Do you think she also has sexual or -- if you have these as well -- romantic feelings for you? What would you want to build with her besides having a sexual experience with her, if anything?
2) Since masturbation is the thing we can do when we're just looking for sexual exploration or satisfaction for ourselves, it generally is a good thing to learn to do for and with ourselves. When you say it doesn't work for you, what do you mean? Do you mean you have a hard time enjoying yourself or reaching orgasm, or do you mean it is something you have conflicted feelings about, or do you mean you don't know how to get excited about it, or....?
So, by all means, looking to have sex with someone because masturbation isn't working for us, or just because we really want to have sex in general, isn't really a sound way to go.
Sex with another person has to be as much about that other person as it is about us, for one: if we are hyperfocused on wanting to get off or feeling sexually frustrated because we haven't learned how to alone yet, that's just not a good setup for a sexual partner. I hear you being self-aware about not being sure if this is about her or about you just wanting sex in general: it's good you have that awareness, because if and when we're not sure like that, by all means, we shouldn't pursue sex with another person.
How about we start with a couple of things:
1) This girl that you like: what's the relationship between you two right now? Do you think she also has sexual or -- if you have these as well -- romantic feelings for you? What would you want to build with her besides having a sexual experience with her, if anything?
2) Since masturbation is the thing we can do when we're just looking for sexual exploration or satisfaction for ourselves, it generally is a good thing to learn to do for and with ourselves. When you say it doesn't work for you, what do you mean? Do you mean you have a hard time enjoying yourself or reaching orgasm, or do you mean it is something you have conflicted feelings about, or do you mean you don't know how to get excited about it, or....?
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