Scarleteen

Hii,
I’m sorry but I’m writing this with a little bit of a panic. I have never had sex before but I’ve been getting fingered by my boyfriend, grinded and gave oral, he always makes sure to wash his hands (after he ejaculates) to finger me again. But I’m worried, what if he didn’t wash properly enough or he forgot to do it one time and something got in me through his fingers (like precum or cum). I’ve been having stomach cramps, nausea, I vomited once and my breast feel tender. The last month I got my period, like I bled normally, but I have been experiencing these symptoms quite frequently for the last two months so I’m kinda freaked out. Im specifically worried about one time I went over to his place about a week ago. But the last time we did anything was a few days ago. This month my period is due in about a week or so. I’m really paranoid about this since my family isnt really accepting of this so I can’t talk to them freely about this. It would be a lot of help if you could give me a bit of a lead to if I should worry or not. I have read found and tried learning more about sex Ed but I still have a lot of worries and doubts.

Hi Vs06,

The sexual activities you describe pose no risk for pregnancy. In fact, it sounds like you’re already practicing some great habits with your boyfriend, like handwashing in between activities. But even if he had forgotten once, that would not be a high-risk situation. Additionally, you got your period, so that is a clear sign of no pregnancy. I encourage you to keep reading and learning as it seems like you are experiencing a high level of anxiety:

Human Reproduction: A Seafarer's Guide- having a good understanding of how pregnancy does happen will help you understand why this situation is not a risk
Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?- helpful in making informed decisions around what sexual activities you’d like to do, and what pregnancy and STI risks might be associated
The Pregnancy Panic Companion
Pregnancy Scared?
How Not to Get Pregnant: Five Things You Can Do to Most Effectively Prevent Pregnancy


I am also very sorry that you haven’t been feeling well! Have these symptoms been worse around your period or at certain parts of your cycle? Are you able to check in with a doctor about not feeling well?

Thanks for such a quick reply, I already have a doctor’s appointment this Friday. The symptoms get worse randomly, Ive tried to see if they match up near my period or pms but I’ve seen no clear correlation. I think my anxiety makes them much worse, so I’m trying to get that under control. Also thanks for the links you suggested, since in my family this has been a really taboo subject, I’m kind of trying to learn on my own, which is why I have a lot of anxiety towards it, specially when it comes to getting pregnant.

I'm glad you will be talking to a doctor! As a lifelong anxiety-haver, I've had many years of feeling physically terrible from it, and I hope you can get some relief.
As you are on your journey of learning, please know that is EXACTLY what we are here to help with! If you ever have a question, let us know <3