Going back to a place connected to trauma

[Asking Queries]

Content warning: talks about sexual assault and emotional abuse as something I heard about (without any details) and how that traumatized me.




Hi everyone,

For privacy reasons, I use them/them pronouns for one of the people talked about in this post. This may or may not reflect their gender or actual pronouns (I don’t know).

One of my past friend groups had a person who sexually assaulted one of my past friends and who was also emotionally abusive to other people in the group. I wasn’t directly affected by them, but hearing about what happened and realizing that I had spent many months physically close to them significantly traumatized me. I still think about it a lot, and haven’t really processed what happened. I met this friend group at a park, and that’s where we hung out for the months that I was physically close to this person.

In a few days I’m going to go back to the park, for something unrelated and hopefully quite fun. I’m scared that I’m going to get triggered or otherwise be really stressed out because of the location and my history with it. I’m wondering if people have tips to deal with any feelings or worries that do come up, so that I can stay focused on the fun. Of course, dealing with the trauma more fully requires therapy, but I’m just hoping for things to get me through it.

AQ

Afterword: Depending on how worried I am about this, I might ask for a different location, but I’d rather not.

[mikky]

Hey AQ,

Glad that there are some fun plans in the works for you, and sorry that they are becoming tied to these tough and complicated memories.

Will there be anyone else partaking in these plans who you might be able to check in with ahead of time? Something like, “hey, I am excited about our plans, but I have some bad memories tied to the park. Will you leave early with me/sit out with me/check in if I seem off?” I really like having a buddy for most social situations in general, and it can be really nice to be that buddy for someone else too.

Are you able to leave the park if it feels like too much? Can you take a bus/bike ride/drive to another place?

What usually helps you feel the most grounded, safe, and cared for when heavy feelings come up? Can you bring a book, headphones, a journal or sketchbook, or something like that?