Scarleteen

I'm a junior. I have almost all the credits I need for graduation. I'm failing math and I just don't care. I don't care anymore. None of this matters I'm wasting my life on school. I had someone close to me die last December. Their entire life was school. School for hours every day. I barely see my family or my cats. I know I am dying soon. I can feel it is coming. I am wasting time. I'm gonna let my mom down and just fail. I don't care. I'm dying.

Oscar Doe, I'm so sorry that you are having a rough time at school and that you lost someone dear to you. How can we best help you in this moment? We may not be able to provide mental health support, but we can help you with sharing some resources.

I don't know. I don't know what I need help with the only reason I'm posting here is because I know I need help but I have no idea how. I don't know what I need. Idk I'm sorry. I shouldn't have posted here.

It's okay if you haven't figured out what you need. Would you like to share if there's anything recently that prompted you to feel bad/worse than usual, in case it helps with letting off some steam? And from your location, I've noticed that it's rather late, so I wonder if you've had anything to eat and drink as well.

Things have just been hard. I don't care for anything anymore. The only thing keeping me around is my cat honestly. He's getting older idk what I'll do without him. It's been like this for a long time. Just sticking around for the cat. And now I just feel like everything has gotten worse. People are suffering and dying, and I know it is selfish of me to just want out, but that's what I want. I just miss my friend. And I am a total hypocrite because I'm upset about her suicide but then I'm thinking about doing it to myself? Make it make sense idk. But I probably won't. I just complain and cry and then go to school the next day and do nothing. I've taken so much advice over the years to fix my mental health and my chronic pain, none of it works. I feel like my body already wants to die. No I haven't eaten but I'm thirsty I need to sleep because I have school in the morning, I lost track of time.

Hi Oscar, sorry I just got back to you--it's no longer my shift, but I feel like it's my responsibility to respond to you since I asked how you are doing. As I previously shared, and based on our guidelines, we can't provide mental health support, but you might be able find some from this page: https://www.scarleteen.com/read/tags/crisis-resources. If that doesn't sound doable for you at the moment, I still hope you know that we're here for you.

Hi there, Oscar. I am also very sorry about the loss of your friend. I have also lost loved ones to suicide, and I know how painful and isolating it can be.

I do want to make clear, though, that as we say in the user guidelines and agreement (the one you agreed to when you registered to use the boards), we cannot engage with people who are actively suicidal, as you seem to be expressing that you are. We simply lack the resources and structure to do that in a way that is safest for everyone, and for the suicidal person most of all. If we engage with you here, we keep you from qualified, resourced help, and that potentially puts your life at risk.

So, our policy when someone comes in here and reports suicidality is to do what we can to help connect you with a person or resource to help you with that first, and after you get that help and feel more stable, offer you kinds of help and support we can provide for you. For instance, I would be happy to talk with you about coping with the loss of a loved one to suicide, but we need you to get yourself safe first. I will be reminding our team about this policy.

A couple different hotlines you might consider who are set up to help you with this are:
• Teen Line offers help with this either by phone -- (866) 948-2988 -- or text -- Text “TEEN” to 839863 -- both between the hours of 6–9 PM PST.
• Utah's crisis line: 1-800-273-TALK, which is 24/7
• The Trevor Project has three different ways to contact them, and is specifically intended for suicidality support for LGBTQAI+ youth

If you get some help from one or more of those or similar places, and can get yourself to a place where you no longer feel at risk of suicide, we'll gladly welcome you back here to talk with you about things we can help with as much as you like. I encourage you to make at least one of those calls or texts: as both someone who has been suicidal and who has experienced actively suicidal people, you sound at risk and in need of help with these feelings to me. I certainly think that better safe than sorry is the way to go when it comes to suicidal feelings.

I hope you can get some qualified support, can start to feel differently, and that we'll see you again once you feel safer and more stable. <3

Hiya,

I’d imagine losing someone close to you is extremely difficult. A similar thing happened to me when my grandfather died. I became extremely depressed. Got really sick and stopped going to school. Flunked horribly. Life is forgiving at times, as I have been able to collect myself and have gotten tremendously better.

You have a few credits yet. You are so close. I and many others have faith in you. You don’t have to give your 100%, just pass and get the diploma if that’s what you’re comfortable with right now. Another option could be getting an equivalency diploma, HiSET or GED, speak to your academic counselor about it if you think this would work out better.

Around the same time when I was in this mess of depression and sickness, I was failing math. Did anything to get out of that class. I think you should talk to your teacher (something I never did which I regret not doing). They might be able to figure something out for you. There are a lot of your peers who are eager to teach you, without judgement. Try reaching out to NHS or Mu Theta Alpha at your school. There are a lot of resources online too. Khan Academy, Paul’s Math Notes and loadssss of math Youtubers (my favorite being Organic Chemistry Tutor, Mr H Tutoring, Brian McLogan and NancyPi).

Hope this helped.