I am disgusted by my own body.

[Grem]

Hi. I don’t know if this problem is unique to me or others have experienced the same problem. When I masturbate, I cannot touch myself directly because it disgusts me. I cannot stand the texture or feeling of my clitoris or vagina and the wetness makes it 10x more disgusting.

I have tried to touch myself directly before, but I can’t feel anything when I do so and I believe this is because I’m grossed out by it. When I do masturbate, I use a vibrator. The only time I am able to orgasm is with a vibrator. I want to be able to orgasm vaginally, but I’ve never stuck a vibrator up there before.

Does anybody have any advice for me regarding this? Is there any way to fix this?

[Becky]

Hi Grem! Welcome to the boards!

Hmm, truthfully I'm not sure there's anything you necessarily need to "fix." A lot of people prefer to use a vibrator when masturbating for various reasons! If you really want to use your fingers, but don't like touching the clitoris directly, you could also try masturbating while wearing underwear or even pants and see if the extra layers help with the sensation. Or trying a hands-free option altogether like grinding on a pillow.

You might enjoy these two articles we offer to learn more about all of the various ways people masturbate:
Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation
DIY Sex Toys: Self-love Edition

I think lots of people have various sensory issues and I can see why the wet sensation might be unpleasant to the touch. I *would* encourage you to avoid using words like "disgusting" to refer to something your body naturally does and practice a more neutral mentality towards it. However, that doesn't mean you have to love it either. It's totally fine to just masturbate with a vibrator! The most important thing is that you feel good.