19 and never orgasmed what am i doing wrong bro

[purplepalmtree]

So i’ve done research about this before and I’m guessing maybe I’m too worried about reaching that point so it doesn’t happen? But idk, I’m not always focused on that. so maybe i’m just using a bad technique…? It’s just really frustrating because all my friends can and they’re younger than me. oh and i’m referring to when I masturbate since I haven’t had sex yet. I really wish I could figure it out cus it sounds awesome and how am I supposed to have sex in the future when I can’t even orgasm myself? I’ve been trying since I was 14 and sometimes I feel like I may be getting close but then, idk, it doesn’t happen? I usually only do it when i’m excited, and I mainly just use my fingers, but occasionally I will use an item (i’m too scared to buy a sex toy incase my mom finds it, but I’m hoping once I do that it would help…??) and I try to make a nice atmosphere with music. I go for as long as 40 minutes sometimes, and while it does feel good, eventually i get bored or give up cus i can’t climax. I also try to keep the same pace when i find it’s very pleasurable since I heard that’s important, although sometimes I do get a little distracted. Could this be why? If so, how would I fix this?? my mom thinks I might have slight adhd so idk… and I know sexual activity isn’t just about climaxing and instead the whole experience or wtv, but damn, I wanna know what it’s like so bad!!!! Also if it matters, I typically look at erotica or simply use my imagination while masturbating.

Moral of the story, i’ll be turning 20 this year and I still haven’t orgasmed bro. Am I just lacking skills??? Is there even any advice that can be given? cus I always see stuff saying you just have to keep exploring your body since it’s unique or wtv but if there is please bro anything at this point

[char]

Hey purplepalmtree, welcome to the boards!

It must be frustrating to know that you haven't been able to orgasm after years of masturbating. I'd like to assure you that this isn't a "skill issue," and you're not doing anything wrong as long as nothing feels painful or uncomfortable. The techniques that work for some people may not work for others, and that's completely fine too, because everyone's bodies are different.

You mentioned that there are times that you've felt like you're getting close to orgasm, but it doesn't happen. Whenever this happens, have you noticed if the pleasure feels different than the kind of pleasure you get in your other masturbation sessions(or right before those feelings start to emerge)? Pleasure can be sudden, intense, and maybe a bit overwhelming at times, but it can also be more subtle, quiet, and harder to notice.