Scarleteen

I have been questioning my sexuality for the past 9 months. The reason why I say I’m bi-curious and not BI sexual is because I haven’t done anything yet with a man. I have only done things with other women. I have been open to trying doing sexual stuff with men, especially femboys and twinks. I think the moment when I realize I want to try things with men is watching gay porn. Normally, if you're straight you’ll be turned off by it, but for me, I got turned on by it. It made me want to do sexual things with a man and also, I have been wanting to suck a penis for the longest now. I just don’t know where to find someone that wants to try all those sexual experiences with me and, to be honest, I'd rather be with a woman any day than a man, and I’ll rather date a woman than a man, but it’s something about me that want to explore my sexuality and take a try and see where things go.

Hello SilverFalcon92!

If the word bicurious feels more fitting than bisexual, it is perfectly okay for you to identify that way. But just in case, I want to say that you don't need to have sex with men before you can identify as bisexual. It is enough that you've felt some kind of attraction/interest to them.

I'm hearing that while you generally prefer to have sex with and date women, you want to explore your sexuality and this new facet of your attraction, and you are wondering how you would find a partner who could help you with this.

One option for finding a partner is through dating apps. If you already have an account, you could change the preference settings so the app will show you profiles of men, or you could make a new account focused on that. Different apps tend to have different cultures and demographics---for example, they may be more or less structured for hookups, or they might be targeted towards LGBTQ people. So, it might help to explore different apps to find one that is most suited to what you want. It sounds like you are interested in sex, and not so interested in finding a partner to date. You can make that clear in your profile on these apps, so you'll be able to match with people who also want casual sex.

Dating apps are a context where you can usually expect that the people you see want to date or find a sexual partner, and where people are generally upfront about what they are looking for. That can make it easier to find a partner in certain ways, but it is possible to find someone who would explore these things with you in other contexts. You might just need to wait for a good/appropriate time to discuss sex.

Does that make sense?

I want to share two articles of ours that you might like to read. The first is about dating apps, and the second has advice on casual sex:

• The Scoop on Dating Apps

• Casual...Cool? Making Choices About Casual Sex