I have no vaginal hole, but I get periods?

[M. B.]

Hello, this is my first time using this uhh forum (?) But I have no other person to talk with about this, because I'm in full custody of a man, anyways.

Ive noticed for a few years that I've always had insane struggles getting turned on, aroused, finding any hole down there, getting and staying wet. Ive been getting periods since I was 8 or 9 years old? Theyre always pretty heavy, I get really bad cramps, and i see the blood on the pads so theres no way I DON'T have a opening, but when I feel around down there there's nothing. Just a small hard white patch with no holes at all. Ive seen many people on different sites post about how there's a mini hole but mine doesn't even have that? It's just a white wall. Please help. I was thinking of going to a gynecologist anyway, but that will be a struggle because of who I live with.

[Heather]

Hi there. M.B. Welcome to the boards.

I want to make sure I am understanding right: in your profile, you are saying you are MTF, but since you have periods, it sounds like you may instead be FTM (someone born with a uterus, ovaries and vagina, not a penis and testes). Do I have that right? If not, dismiss everything below and we can circle back and correct information as needed.

To me, this sounds like it's probably a developmental stage variation with the hymen where there are micro-openings first (it's called "cribriform"), before more of it wears away to reveal a larger opening.  Those micro-openings are not going to be easy for someone to see themselves, but the fact that you have menstrual flow makes clear to me that they obviously exist.  After all, flow can't get through if there are no openings. This isn't common, but it is something that is the case for plenty of people, not just you. It's much more common for the hymen to wear away in a way that's called "microperforate," where one opening forms and keeps widening.

You do not need to do anything about this now unless you want to: having periods by itself, as well as discharge, will usually wear more of the hymen away over time, that's how this all works. It just may be that with yours it's taking a little bit longer. But, if you're worried about it, or you just want the kind of education about it an OB/GYN can give, then by all means, that's a visit you can look into. We could help you talk to your Dad about seeking that care if you want (I lived with my Dad as a teen too, I get it can be a little awkward at first, but it's usually not insurmountable). You also have the option of holding off on that until that kind of care is easier, or until you want to do things that this kind of variation -- especially if those openings don't widen over the next few years -- may prevent, like tampon or menstrual cup use or vaginal sex.

Let us know what we can help you with from here!

[M. B.]

Hello, it has been a while and I still haven't gone to a gynecologist.
I can't get anyone to take me; but right now, today, I was having extreme pelvic pain and stomach aches and when I went to go check my vagina, because it kept hurting as well, there was a flap of flesh, small, kinda pointy, I guess like the consistency of a labia? Over my hymen. I know it was over my hymen because it was over the lighter, solid wall where my hymen usually is. Please help! I'm scared, could it be a polyp or something like prolapse??? Ive never had this issue beforehand I just thought the pelvic pain was normal..

[KierC]

Hey MB,

I’m sorry to hear this happened and that it was painful for you I get that it’s a scary thing, especially when you’re not sure what’s going on. We can’t diagnose anything because we aren’t medical professionals, but the pain does sound concerning. It wasn’t in combination with menstruation, was it?

I do think this is something you’d want to check out with a gynecologist, but I also hear you that you couldn’t get anyone to take you. Did you end up asking your dad? Can you tell me a little more about what obstacles you faced trying to get to the doctor? That might help us help you a bit more. <3

[M. B.]

I have already menstruated this month, it can't possibly be that I'm pretty sure.
I just can't ask to go to a gynecologist because talking about anything relating to my sexual health was a whole humiliation ritual, at least with my mom, and I don't wanna go trough that again and now I'm just scared.
It also burns to pee for some reason? This could be an infection but as I have checked out there are no visible holes on the flap so it's not a prolapse or anything, it's likely a polyp, I'll try and be brave and talk to my dad about going to see a gyno.

[KierC]

I highly encourage talking to your dad and seeing if he’d take you, or if a different family member who you trust could. Burning when you pee can signal an infection, so it’s important that you get this seen by a doctor.