a lot of questions

[Lambasted]

hi i have a lot of questions so really anything will help. i just had sex for the first time 3 days ago and the next day i woke up to blood which i figured was normal from the hymen breaking, but i've still been having like a brownish discharge? I don't know if it's residual blood or my period. i also haven't had a period since feb so i'm not quite sure how to tell the difference between the two right now. also, some of my bf's semen got on the outside of my underwear, so can i get pregnant from that? we used a condom and it was all safe but i'm a little worried. since i havent gotten my period in a while i won't know if im pregnant or not. i really want to get on birth control, and my doctor said to talk to my parents but i dont know how to convince my mom. she doesnt know im having sex and i dont want her to know, but im tired of irregular periods and i dont want any pregnancy scares. im also 18 and still in high school. i dont have anyone in my life to talk to about this. i'm the oldest child, my friends are all virgins, and my parents dont even know im seeing a guy. any advice will help thank you!

[Heather]

Welcome to the boards, Lambasted.

So, the hymen isn't something that typically breaks sparing situations like sexual assault or other things that can cause injury, and most typically even then, that's only the case when the person who got hurt was very young, since the hymen typically starts to gradually wear away -- as it will do for all of life -- once a person starts having periods. Bleeding from intercourse most typically happens because of vaginal abrasion due to a lack of lubricant, being fearful or nervous (and thus, not aroused), or intercourse that is too hasty or rough. Were any of those things in play for this? If so, that may be what the bleeding and old blood (the brown) is from.

If not, then it may be a period.

Per getting on a birth control method, you don't need your parents permission to do that, so I'm not sure why your doctor told you you need to talk with them: you don't. Methods of birth control still won't necessarily give you regular periods, but those that cause withdrawal bleeds -- like the pill, patch or ring -- will usually bring about those bleeds at predictable times. Do you want to circle back to that doctor to talk about a method, or would you like help finding somewhere else to go for that?

Pregnancy isn't something that can occur because of semen on clothing. Here's how pregnancy does happen and all that's required -- including direct genital contact with semen -- for it to be a possibility: Human Reproduction: A Seafarer's Guide.