Scarleteen

hi, it’s been a month since my ex broke up with me. it feels like a lifetime honestly.
i’m not sure how far i’ve moved on, still think about her sometimes but mostly i don’t think that i want to get back together. in fact i’m looking forward to move on fully and have an interesting dating life.
i’m bisexual, but i’ve never been with a guy, and i wanted to try it. i’ve started talking with one - he’s cute and i’ve always wanted to date a guy with long hair, so he’s my type. obviously, i can’t and won’t look so far, we’ve been texting only for a few days but even now i have this nagging thoughts full of anxiety about this.
i’m afraid that my ex might find out and that she’ll be upset and hurt, or even worse she’ll reach out and ask me about it. i’m afraid that i’ll became one of the “evil exes bi girls that always pick a guy after all” i’m also afraid that my other friend will talk about me like that, because she does have tendencies to make jokes about it and she often says that it’s “one of the most painful things when your girl leaves you for a guy or starts dating one short after your breakup”
i don’t know what to do and how not to spiral on these thoughts. especially because i do wanna find out if going out with a guy and kissing him is any different from kissing/dating a girl

Hey there, PomPom.

I'm sorry to see you worrying about things you shouldn't have to worry about. There's nothing wrong with dating people of any gender, at any point, and that doesn't make anyone evil. Anyone who would suggest as much would, flatly, be being an asshole.

Your ex shouldn't be involved in your current dating life unless you want her to be (and who cares what she thinks?), and the same goes with any friends.

How about you set aside all of these concerns about other people who have nothing to do with your current life, and who it sounds like you should leave out of it -- you don't need to tell this friend, either -- and go ahead and keep texting this guy if you want to, and kiss him if you want to?

I will say, there's nothing intrinsically different about kissing or dating one of the billions of people of one gender versus kissing one of the billions of people of another gender, it's more that it's just different kissing or dating different people, period, but if you want to find that out for yourself, you get to!