Dating, sex, sexuality

[penna]

I am homeschooled, so it is hard to have a chance to talk to any boys. I'd really like to start dating and have a relationship with a boy, but how could I go about it?

Also, it's been years since I've had a friend I regularly hang out with or talk to. I'm fairly comfortable around people and nice to people, though. Can I have a boyfriend even though I don't have any friends right now? How would he view me?

Also, for the last several months I've been feeling sexual urges. I'd really like to explore my sexuality, but I don't know how to do it. I know that ultimately, relationships are more important than sex, but I still have this very strong desire to explore sex.

[Sam W]

Hi Penna,

So, for many people, their partners (both romantic and sexual) often come out of their friend group or social circle. What I'd encourage you to do is start involving yourself in different activities that interest you that also involve meeting and hanging out with other people. Now, don't think of this so much as an exercise in finding a boyfriend, but rather as a chance to do new things and meet new people. That way, you take the pressure off of the situation, and you're not focusing all your time on trying to find someone to date. Too, it can help when we're new to dating, to sit with yourself and think about what you want from a relationship. What qualities are important (or important to avoid) and questions like that, so that when you do meet a potential boyfriend, you have a sense of whether or not they have the qualities of someone you want to date.

As for exploring your sexuality, masturbation is usually the first step. Is that something you've done or feel comfortable trying?