Scarleteen

earlier today I tried exploring for the first time and I just tried to do stuff with my clit and put a finger inside except it felt really odd and it wasn’t nice at all, I could like feel the texture inside too if that makes sense and all I could think about during it was how there are probably men out there who get off over the idea of afab teens like myself doing this… I feel a bit violated and thinking back at it makes me really uncomfy even though I did it myself and I’m not really sure what to do:(
Is it really meant to feel good?

Hi caseyyyyyyyy!

I am sorry to hear you're feeling this way about something that is supposed to be rooted in fun/pleasure. Sexual touch is something that can take time for people to figure out how/what they enjoy, so it is not uncommon to hear you didn't feel much on your first go.

We have a great article that may help guide some of that explorative touch here -- Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation.

Those feeling seem pretty intense and violating, I am sorry they popped into your head when you were trying to feel good. Have you ever had similar worries before? Sometimes we can have thoughts that we don't enjoy pop up but they also often go away, did this one seem to linger?