Every time I try and masturbate my fingers don’t fit

[Heyidontknow]

Every time I try and finger myself it hurts so bad and it doesn’t even fit one finger in how do I make this better?

[mikky]

Hi there,
Rather than trying to make something that feels awful try to feel better, how about focusing on touching yourself in ways that do feel good? You could read Take a Self-Love Road Trip: Let Curiosity Guide Your Masturbation for some guidance here.

Can you tell us why you are trying to masturbate in this way, even though it is hurting badly?

[Heyidontknow]

Because everyone else does it don’t they all girls my age say they finger themselves

[mikky]

Ooof, I hope we can myth bust a few things here!
Masturbation is about exploring what feels pleasurable TO YOU. So, it's going to be very different for everyone, and for so many reasons. Rather than trying to masturbate in a way that it seems "everyone else" is, again, I really encourage figuring out what it is that feels good to you.

Fingering can refer to different things. While yes, some people are talking about fingers being inserted into the vagina (or anus), some people might be referring to any sexual activity involving fingers, like rubbing or tapping or touching the vulva and/or clitoris. I highly doubt that ALL girls your age are saying they do this, but let's also not assume everyone is even doing the same thing.

We hear from a lot of users who put their fingers into their vaginas and expect it to feel good, and find it feels extremely underwhelming. This doesn't tend to be a particularly pleasurable activity alone. Especially when it is motivated by a "other people like this so I should too," rather than pleasure. There aren't a lot of nerve endings in the vagina, so just inserting something like a finger or a tampon doesn't tend to feel particularly exciting.

You're describing pain, though. When something is hurting like that, I encourage you listen to your body and back off. The vagina is a muscular tube. When you are anxious or scared, those muscles tend to tense up (meaning when you try and insert something, it might feel intrusive or even painful). When you are relaxed or aroused, those muscles relax (meaning insertion might feel easier or smoother). Arousal also sends the message to your body to do some self lubrication, and lubrication reduces friction. Friction = ouchy. We can supplement self-lubrication with artificial lube.

Does this help answer some of your questions?

[Heyidontknow]

Yes it does thank you