Scarleteen

need of some advice and honesly, I'm a 22 years old male who is turning 23 in 2 short months in November I am still a Virgin and don't know if I should even bother entering the dating scene now afraid I have lost my prime time for having normal chances I live in very rural Pennsylvania (USA so western culture) so Every women I'm around my age are sexually experienced, been in long-term relationships and in fact many have already are having families I know many 22 year old women on the second child, and i feel so fundamentally behind that when most women do find out I'm a virgin at this age they will find it highly unattractive and leave and reject me ? Also I was diagnosed with PDDNOS (now known as part of the autism spectrum which means you have very low traits but don't naturally do well with the social stuff which I have improved as I've aged ), and I also had substance use issues for most of my teens and early 20s so I dedicated a lot of time to that, but I've working through that so I don't have much relationship experience either . now I feel I'm at that age where most women wont understand my situation or want to help me become . So what age do most sexually experienced women generally find it unusual or become wary to the point passing up a virgin man In the US western culture , are my options likely limited now ? I've kind of been dwelling on this before I turned 20 and it's got worse each passing year stopping me from trying I was also always the black sheep from where I'm from because of my differences but now I'm entering the post college age where something should of happened by now so what do most ordinary women think of a man in this situation

Welcome to the boards, Braydon! Thanks for the wait--we were on a Yom Kippur break yesterday.

I think it's hard to say for sure, because every woman is different--even those who live around you. Making generalizations doesn't seem to be super helpful in this case either, since we're not going to click with everyone, and that's okay. Unfortunately, some people (including women) seem to be judgmental towards people who haven't had any partnered sex--and frankly, that is the type of people you should avoid. No one should make you feel bad for not having any romantic and/or sexual experience. Further, there's no "right" time for anyone to do so either. We all live different lives and grow at our own pace. Do you get what I mean?

You mentioned having a PDD-NOS diagnosis and having had substance use issues in the past. I think you should be gentler with yourself--you've likely been through a lot of ups and downs, and yet here you are. Your life isn't going to be the exact same as someone who's allistic (not autistic) and has never had substance use issues, even if the two of you shared other characteristics. As someone who was also diagnosed with PDD-NOS (though I often say I'm autistic and can relate to the autism experience at large), I get how challenging it can be to form and maintain relationships. You're not alone! I highly recommend reading the articles from our resident autistic contributor, Lisa Laman, for more insight. Check it out here: A Little Help From One Autistic Person to Another