Finding what I like.
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Catbus12c00l
- not a newbie
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Fri Jun 19, 2026 11:25 pm
- Age: 18
- My Awesomeness Quotient: My eyes
- My primary language: English
- My pronouns: They/Them
- My sexual identity and orientation: Bisexual, but I lean more to women. Maybe lesbian?
- Location: Huntsville tx
Finding what I like.
I haven't been on this website since June. I got my butt-plug and lube then, but when I used it, I don't think I liked it. I wanted to find something that would help me feel more pleasure. I usually grind/hump against the bathtub, and I've heard of grinding pads. I did think of a bullet vibrator, and maybe one day practicing fingering myself.
I need help. And I want to feel good overall.
I need help. And I want to feel good overall.
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Heather
- scarleteen founder & director
- Posts: 11273
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 1:43 pm
- Age: 56
- My Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for nearly 30 years!
- My primary language: english
- My pronouns: they/them
- My sexual identity and orientation: queery-queer-queer
- Location: Chicago
Re: Finding what I like.
Hello again!
You know, very often it can be hit or miss with toys. I know that sucks, because good ones aren't cheap, but sometimes we just will get a toy and find it just isn't the toy for us.
We can sometimes prevent that by only getting toys for, say, kinds of sexual stimulus we already know we like, just maybe we don't know if we like with a toy or not, or to only buy toys that, when described, seem to be describing a way we want to feel, but even then, sometimes a toy just won't feel like we hoped or do what we expect.
We won't ever be able to tell anyone what they will or won't like sexually, like I think you're asking, with a toy or otherwise, without an awful lot of information, and even then, we can only offer so much. If you're someone just starting to explore sexuality and sexual stimulation, you simply may be at a stage where you just need to keep doing a lot of experimenting on your own.
Same goes with asking us about how to feel good overall. Not only am I not sure about what you mean -- in what respect? -- but that's usually a huge scope that has a lot of different parts, not just, say, getting a sex toy we like the feel of. Pleasure, in general, also usually is not just about finding a right sensation: that is often one piece of experiencing pleasure, but what's going on in our heads, hearts and greater lives is often just as important.
I hear you saying you need help, but I'm not entirely sure what kind of help you're asking for that we can actually give. Can you try being more specific? What would you like us to help you with? Finding a certain kind of toy? Help figuring out what kind of sexual stimulation you might like, period? Feeling more satisfied by masturbation in general? Connecting better with the experience of sexual pleasure?
You know, very often it can be hit or miss with toys. I know that sucks, because good ones aren't cheap, but sometimes we just will get a toy and find it just isn't the toy for us.
We can sometimes prevent that by only getting toys for, say, kinds of sexual stimulus we already know we like, just maybe we don't know if we like with a toy or not, or to only buy toys that, when described, seem to be describing a way we want to feel, but even then, sometimes a toy just won't feel like we hoped or do what we expect.
We won't ever be able to tell anyone what they will or won't like sexually, like I think you're asking, with a toy or otherwise, without an awful lot of information, and even then, we can only offer so much. If you're someone just starting to explore sexuality and sexual stimulation, you simply may be at a stage where you just need to keep doing a lot of experimenting on your own.
Same goes with asking us about how to feel good overall. Not only am I not sure about what you mean -- in what respect? -- but that's usually a huge scope that has a lot of different parts, not just, say, getting a sex toy we like the feel of. Pleasure, in general, also usually is not just about finding a right sensation: that is often one piece of experiencing pleasure, but what's going on in our heads, hearts and greater lives is often just as important.
I hear you saying you need help, but I'm not entirely sure what kind of help you're asking for that we can actually give. Can you try being more specific? What would you like us to help you with? Finding a certain kind of toy? Help figuring out what kind of sexual stimulation you might like, period? Feeling more satisfied by masturbation in general? Connecting better with the experience of sexual pleasure?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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