Insensitive clitoris + vaginismus

[PopLovey]

I'm an 18 year old who for as long as I can remember, hasn't been able to get an clitoral sexual stimulation ( I get get aroused by visual/audio things but touching my clit or the surrounding area is equivalent to touching my elbow when it comes to sensation). I assumed I was not using the right technique with my hands so I invested money in all sorts of toys but still..nothing.
I feel like a broken female down there.
Not sure what to do? Are some people born with extremely insensitive or no clits at all?

I was also diagnosed with vaginismus and although that's getting better, even during penetration and my muscles are relaxed I get no arousal from it. Mentally I don't think there are any blocks because I have a liberal attitude towards sex and masturbation so it genuinely upsets me since I can't and have never experienced sexual pleasure.
Am I broken?

[Mo]

Hi there PopLovey, and welcome to Scarleteen.
First off, I want to say that not yet having experienced sexual pleasure doesn't mean you're broken. Sexual anatomy and pleasure encompasses a lot more than just the clitoris, for one thing, but it is possible that you'll find a way to interact with your clitoris that does wind up feeling good to you.

If I'm understanding you correctly, you are feeling something when you touch your clitoris, and it's just not feeling very exciting or pleasurable, correct? If you're feeling numbness or a total lack of sensation, that's something I'd bring up with a doctor (and you could check in with a doctor about this either way), but if you are feeling some sensation when you touch your clitoris, it may be worth doing a little more experimentation.

When you're touching your clitoris, are you doing that at a point when you're already feeling aroused, such as during or after whatever sexual media you enjoy? The difference in sensation can be significant, so if you are touching yourself before you're really aroused, or trying to reach arousal through touching your clitoris, that could be part of why it's not feeling great so far. Also, if you haven't tried using a sexual lubricant, that could potentially be helpful to try too; cutting down on friction can help things feel better.
It might help to take a look at your vulva with a hand mirror to check out your clitoris visually; some folks find that this helps them think about how and where they like to touch themselves (plus, the rest of the vulva can feel good also; you don't have to focus on just the clitoris).

One thing I'll note is that it can be a lot tougher to feel aroused or feel a lot of pleasure when you're feeling tense or frustrated, so trying to feel sexual pleasure when you're frustrated about not already feeling sexual pleasure can wind up causing even more frustrating, if you aren't careful! If you find yourself getting stressed it may be time to take a break and try later.