My Kink and the Real World

[Silver Signet]

Ever since I was 11 years old, I have had a kink for male ballet dancers; this started with a photo while going through encyclopedia volumes stored in the basement. This then resulted in masturabatory fantasies involving dancing with and having a romantic relationship with one.

After a dry spell in sexual feelings lasting a few years, I started looking at photos of danseurs again, and felt an amazing rush of pleasure and sexual release. It felt like I reunited with a former lover.

I am a cisgender female virgin, and have not dated since high school (no sexual or romantic behaviors with these relationships). I'm not sure I want to start dating again, due to lack of experience and fear of being disappointed in a relationship.

How common is this type of sexual situation, and should I be concerned?

[Heather]

I wouldn't say this is anything to be concerned about: dance is so beautiful, so lyrical and so physical, and dancers also often have bodies that many people find very beautiful. I'd say it's hardly surprising that dance and dancers are something/people a lot of people find romantic and sexually exciting. A lot of people also romantize the lives of dancers: that's a pretty longstanding habit.

I am honestly not the biggest fan of "kink" as a framework, period -- it just feels very vague and useless to me, one person's kink is another person's normal, and as a term it just seems to make people feel uncomfortable instead of more comfortable -- but even without my feelings about this, it feels a little off to me to consider this a kink. It's an interest, that's all, probably one of many you'll find you have as you go through life and learn more about your sexuality.