I'm scared my boyfriend will fall out of love with me

[DemiKitten]

It happened once before with my ex..he said he just..loved me before I loved him back..I feel like once people get to know me..I'm awful.. I feel so insecure and anxious..its hard for me to ever get a sense of stability. I have never had a relationship last longer than 3 months..and that is long for me..I like my current boyfriend so much I dont want it to end..but its really hard for me to get a sense of what our relationship is at..like he tells me all the time that like.. we'll get to it if we get to it.. I have severe abandonment issues..from childhood..its really hard for me to ask for reassurance and being way too clingy..but when I feel the clinginess coming on, I become avoidant.

[KierC]

Hey DemiKitten <3

I am so sorry to hear that you’re feeling anxious and insecure about this. I hear your struggle with this, and I am so sorry that you’re dealing with these feelings. I know it’s painful to have this kind of worry about loss, and I want you to know that you’re not alone. You’re also not awful, and it’s okay that your relationships have lasted the time that they lasted. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or that anything is wrong with you. But, what I’m hearing is that this is contributing to some really crummy feelings and fears about your current relationship. I have a couple of clarifying questions to help me understand more first, if that’s okay. When you say it’s hard to get a sense of where you’re at in your relationship, can you say a little more about what that looks like for you? Have you communicated this with him before, and if so how have those conversations been for you?