Can't seem to finish

[riblark]

Hi! I've been masturbating for 4 years and sexually active with a partner for around 9 months. I've never been able to orgasm, which I accepted might just not be in the cards for me, until I got my first vibrator a few weeks ago. I can feel myself getting close now but everytime i'm about to reach the peak I suddenly get overstimulated & the pleasure turns into pain? I've only used it by myself due to my partner being away for a few months. Is this an issue of focusing on finishing too much or am I doing something wrong? I just can't seem to get over the brink.

[Sam W]

Hi riblark,

When you hit that point where it goes from pleasurable to painful, does it feel like there's been any kind of release at all, or like you notice your arousal going down after you hit that point?

[riblark]

I don't think so(?) I'm still usually fairly pent up after it turns painful.

[Sam W]

Got it. I thought it might be the case that you actually were experiencing orgasm somewhere in there and that's why it was switching to painful, but it doesn't sound like that's likely the case. When you hit that point of the vibrator being too intense, have you tried switching to another form of stimulation that's maybe less intense but still feels good to you?

[riblark]

I have, but I still completely lose any build up. I have been entertaining the idea of me orgasming unknowingly since you brought it up earlier, and I think that might be more possible than I initially thought? Is it normal to still feel the pulling feeling/internal tension post-orgasm? I definitely get to a peak there just isn't much of a noticeable release.

[Latha]

Hi Riblark,

Orgasms don't always provide a very complete sense of release, so I think it is possible to have the feeling that you've described. Do you think it might help if you used a lower setting on your vibrator? And have you tried taking a break when you start feeling overstimulated and trying again?