Concerns about masturbation

[Esram1999]

I just made an account here and I am a straight male. I feel like masturbation gets boring because of the material I usually use with it. I’m not very good at imagining things because it just doesn’t feel real or intimate. I have tried porn, which I don’t like using, but it feels more real. I feel a little repressed and I feel like maybe I have these urges for the real thing, which is something I logically wouldn’t do for my age, but I can’t help it.

[Latha]

Hi there, Esram1999 — welcome to the boards!

This is a good question! Sex that is too limited in focus or too routine can get boring pretty quickly — we can talk about some things you could try to make it more interesting.

To address the last part of your post first: When you say you have urges for the real thing, are you thinking about sex with another person? If yes, I understand why you might not feel comfortable with the prospect just yet, but I will say that there is nothing wrong with wanting to have partnered sex at your age. Nor is it bad to want something that feels real and intimate. You can decide to look for a partner when you feel ready — the main question at any point is whether sex would be pleasurable, safe, and healthy for you and any partner of yours. (If you’d like a better sense of what it means to be ready, you could ask yourself the questions in our sex readiness checklist.)

I wouldn’t write off your ability to imagine so soon. Though it isn’t the only way to make masturbation less boring, developing a strong sense of your fantasies and desires is useful because that knowledge is a big part what makes any kind of sex pleasurable. Imagining on your own isn’t an exact substitute if you are looking for intimacy with a partner, but it will probably get easier as you get more practice with it, and as you gain more sexual experience in general.

Now, for an actual suggestion: Sexual pleasure is a phenomenon that involves the whole body and mind. Sometimes when masturbation becomes boring, it can happen because we’re focusing too much on one part of the body, and this usually ends up being the genitals. If this seems like something you do, you could try exploring how your body responds to different sensations in other places, and paying attention to what feels good.

How does this sound so far? You don’t have to watch porn, but if I may ask, what do you dislike about it?

[Esram1999]

I just find it unrealistic and it doesn’t really involve me at all.
What are some tips I could do to make masturbation more interesting?

[Sofi]

Masturbation is something personal meaning you will have to explore and find your own preferences. There's no tips we could give you on improving the experience because everyone likes different things. As long as you are being safe, there's no pain or harm being done, and you're feeling pleasure, you can use anything to make it interesting. For sexual material to use that might be more realistic than traditional porn, you could try reading erotica or fan fiction, there are tons of way to consume written sexual content. You can try using toys (DIY or purchased), too, but again that's a preference thing and there's no right or wrong way to do it.