No pleasure from fingering

[mikaxxo]

Hello, i’m 16 and a virgin, turning 17 in September. I’ve tried fingering myself and rubbing my clit multiple times using several different methods (always while turned on/aroused) and I never feel anything more than minimal off and on pleasure and have never orgasmed. Also, although I am able to insert 2, I’ve only ever been able to insert 1 finger comfortably, so i’m worried about what this means for the future concerning penetrative sex.

FYI My parents are a little weird about this sort of thing, so I don’t have access to a gynecologist or anything along those lines.

(Side note, i’m 5’2 and have a pretty small vagina, so i’m wondering if perhaps that has something to do with it?)

[Anya]

Hi Mikaxxo,

Welcome to the boards.

It seems like you're struggling with experiencing pleasure from masturbation, and are concerned about how your anatomy might affect future sexual engagement. Is that right?

To start, I want to hopefully calm some of those nerves by saying something I'm sure you already know. There is no timeline when it comes to pleasure and bodies! Everyone's body is different, and all bodies change over time in their sensitivity and ability. There is no rush in figuring everything out right now. The good news about having a body that's all yours is that you get tons of time to get to know it.

We have a few articles about just this topic that I think you'll find helpful.
First is our Sexual Response and Orgasm User Guide for some of the actual science behind why your body is actually totally normal in terms of the arousal/lack of arousal question.
Second, we have a pretty helpful piece on the second thing you mentioned, your concern about your anatomy potentially impacting your future sexual engagement: I Cannot Insert Anything Into My Vagina. What Should I Do?

Once you have given these articles a look, let us know if you need anything more. How does that sound?

[mikaxxo]

Yes that’s correct.

I did end up reading both articles, but I didn’t find anything particularly helpful. I’m just so confused because when I am masturbating, i’ve always been aroused, and everything I see just says “you’re probably not aroused.”

Yes that’s correct.

I did end up reading both articles, but I didn’t find anything particularly helpful. I’m just so confused because when I am masturbating, i’ve always been aroused, and everything I see just says “you’re probably not aroused.”

Thank you in advance!

[Latha]

Hi Mikaxxo,

Not being aroused in the first place is a common reason why people struggle to feel pleasure, but you are right that it isn’t the only one. This might require a bit of trial and error, but we can definitely think about some other approaches.

I have a few questions: you’ve mentioned that genital stimulation doesn’t feel any good. Does touching your body in other areas feel pleasurable when you are aroused? What about non-sexual pleasure — are there things that feel good physically outside of masturbation?

There is a chance that you’ll start to feel more pleasure as you spend more time exploring masturbation. Anecdotally speaking, I’ve spoken to friends whose experiences sound similar to yours — they described not feeling anything especially interesting until something clicked. Continuing to explore without pressure can’t hurt, and it will likely strengthen the connection between your brain and your body in ways that could make stimulation feel better.